Kaleo's Luau

Luau Time!!!


Kisses
Checking on his favors
My Mom-In-Law & Champ.

Kaleo James 1st Baby Luau

As a culture, we celebrate baby's first year of survival. Reason is deep in the history of the islands. It used to be that many keiki did not survive the first year of life. Luckily, life styles have changed, and now we are blessed to celebrate out of joy, not just relief.



Mai & Champy

Plenty of family, friends, and assorted revelers. Add a couple of hunderd pounds of Kalua Pork, 90 pounds of poi, Smoked meat, Lomi Salmon, Squid Luau, Haupia, Kulolo, Cake, more cake, Sliced Pineapple, Chicken Long Rice, Rice (steamed), Lomi Oio, Ahi Poke, and damn if I know how much else food stuffs.

Muzik Stage & Ballooney tunes

About 200 people showed up and had a damn good time. Lots of good food and drink. The music was great mix of Hawaiian (DUH!) and oldies, even danced with Aunty Rosie.



Aunty R and Some Goof





Champster was a great host, he never complained one bit. He has been fighting a bug all week, and was on Amoxicillin. Lo and behold, he is allergic to Penecillin - So he busted out in a rash the day of the Luau. Too good, huh? He NEVER complained a bit. (he may have enjoyed too much being the star of the show, tho'.

Sandy, Tom, and Michelles family from California came and celebrated too. That was really cool. As well as Lady C's Aunties from Oregon. My Mom came from the big isle, all 90 pounds of her, the POI weighs more than she does. But she moves way faster. 76 y/o and more energy than Kaleo, I swear.

Aunty R, MomHawaiianmark, Lady of the isle


Set up from about 7AM sunday, till show time at 4PM. If it wasnt for Aunty R, 'Pretty' Aunty Gayle, and assorted other menehune helpers, no way could we have pulled this off. My great big heartfelt MAHALOS out to them all. Needless to say also to the folks that came to enjoy this celebration of a little guy who means alot to all. Especially his Kolohe Papa.


Sometimes you gotta wear your food, ya know?


He was neat, at one point.

Lotsa honihoni

Finer points from Mom

I actually wore an Aloha Shirt, for a skoshi bit, any way.

Hope you all likey, and thanks for all the well wishes.

More later.

Aloha.

I almost forgot - Little Kenny particapted as well - from AZ -

http://littlekenny.com/

The clean up took til 4AM, I worked 24 starting at 630. I've had 4 hours sleep in 2 days.

Me kinda wacky now at the pinkosh.

Some good Muzak

Looking for some rock?

Jack White from the white stripes side action band.



http://www.rhapsody.com/theraconteurs/brokenboysoldiers

These guys are pretty good.

At least Champy likes 'em.

That, and HELLO FISHIIIIIIESSSS!

Luau on Sunday.

Aloha...and peace.

A primer for ordering room service

KJ's Bday notwithstanding, or standing in, for that matter; a primer of ordering room service when vacation time comes for those who apparently have absolutely no clue how to do this mind boggling experience of actually ordering food on a telephone.

1. Cute kiddie ordering -

Dont do it. (Kaleo, if papa ever does make you do this, and thinks it is bloody cute, you may take away all surfing privledges I have) I am sure your kiddo is a cutie, all of the little rug rats are. But when the little squirt is trying to order food at the prices in room service, well, dont complain when it is screwed up. And WE hear you in the background.

2. Speaker phone use -

25 lashes. You will get punished for using this. You are not at work, talking to a client/worker/ex/mistress/side salad. Ack. I feel like creating reverb just to annoy you.

3. Its called room service for a reason -

You order it to your room. You should be there to recieve it. What part of this is hard to understand?

4. When ordering a Cheese Sandwhich -

You may skip the ordering of a ham & cheese sandwhich. It really portrays you as not the sharpest tool in the shed. " I'd like to order a ham & cheese sandwhich, on wheat" - "but no ham" Sooooooooooooooooooooooo - lemme see; that'd be a CHEESE Sandwhich?!?. Duuuuuh.

5. "What do you get for a $13.95 Hamburger?"

A hamburger that costs $13.95. In a pink hotel. Brought to your room. Along with $4.00 delivery fee, (that goes to the hotel, not the staff) 17% gratuity, and 4.17% tax.

Yeah, its expensive. You dont HAVE to order. (and in the same vein, if you are really cool/nice/normal - we will bend over backwards to get you what you want - no matter what) but - play the asshole game, and well................

5A - Pricing.

I dont make them.

- again, tho' if you are cool/sane/nice/normal, I can change the price. Or ask my friend the chef to "kick ass" on your order and make it well worth the price. Your choice.

6. Yes, many immigrants work here.

I speak/understand/read english. I also can deal with pidgin. Ilocano. Chinese. Japanese. Samoan. Tongan. This can benefit you and your order.

I dont speak asshole. But I will after I hang up. Again, your choice.

7. Just ask.

Please dont beat around the bush. You want something? I will try. Again, please try to be normal. We may not have what you want, but if you are half way cool, I will try.

Those stories of staff finding a 1937 luggage part in the basement for your grandmas steamer trunk that broke five minutes before departure, are true. Or I can say - "Sorry, we are out of those"

8. Sick?

Bummer. Vacation, too? Damn. I didnt make you sick. Again, be normal. Your kid is sick? All you gotta do is ask in a sane/normal/kind way; I will do whatever I can to get something to heal that - cold/cough/sunburn/itch/yeast infection/whatevers, if you are HALF WAY KIND about the request.

Again, your choice.

9. Contrary to popular belief -

Many of us have been to other fine hotels. And damn if we do know how to make staff assist us! amazing, isnt it?

10. "I want to speak to a manager!"

I love this. We have had 40 in the past 24 years, They do not last long. And BTW, at night, THEY AINT AROUND. Basically, you are getting a version of me acting as a manager. OK? So rant in the day, when the big bosses are here. By the time I get here, they are on Mai Tai #4.

OK, public service done.

24 tomorrow.

KJ - Happy Bday my little champer.

And to all of you -

ALOHA.

5-24-06

Hauoli La Hanau, KJ.

Smiley

Grow strong, be good, care for all, and dont play ball in Papa's house.

Me Ke Aloha Pumehana.

Not Burger King.

You cant have your way.

No matter how much you moan and groan, you cant have it.

Why?

Because I control your order.

So my heartfelt advice to you is.....do not fucking give me your know-it-all attitude.

Why?

See above ^

All the horrors that you think are legend?

They are not even close.

I swear I am gonna quit this damn Pink House Of Puke.

Its only the start of summer, too.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Put me back in the water!!!!

Surf session notes and noted.

Nothing like getting a couple of days in a row of surf in, especially with the KJ luau on Sunday. Not enough hours/patience in the day for me. Lady C is driving me bagonkers with the planning/executing stages. Things will go a smoothly as they can, assured.


Looking out to the bay from the point.


This is where you scamper back on to the rocks from the bay - as that wave in the pix is rising against the wall, you climb up and reel your board in with the leash. If you miss - oh well, scurbs on the body, again.


After that wave passes by, this is where it goes. To the left where you see that patch of white water is 'China Walls' the wave breaks there and on a good day runs for quite a bit to the left creating a tired Mark.



From the line up looking back to the cliffs.
"Honus" in the middle of Maunalua Bay. Classic gorgeous spot. A boat would be nice.


Hey, who threw the kiddo in the bath?

Sadie the dog, and KJ the grandkid.

Safe journeys all.

Aloha!

"Floating in the Sky"

Surf session on 3 hours sleep w/ LG this AM. 140 alarms yesterday. Busy bees, we was. LG gets credit for the saying above, soon as we paddled out. Middle of the ocean, and a million miles away from problems of the earth bound kine.











Aloha, as always, even if I offend.

Time for work.

Droppings

LGREANZ Photo.



If there is ever a reason for a new baptisim in life, surfings the reason. The wasted time of checking non-exsistent swells, the drives to non-producing shores. Insurmountable odds weighed against my psychi of guilt-vs-pleasure-vs-responsiblities.

A long time ago, a scared keiki was tossed about in the ocean by ohana. Being bleesed in a church of stone has its benefits, but bleesed in the open sky has others. There were posters on the wall in grade school of sea-creatures that roamed the keiki's wildest nightmares. So feared, that even being next to said posters would cause a cringe. Getting stung at Makapu'u beach didnt help; guessing that small blue orbs wanted to play wasnt the brightest move for a already dim-witted soul. Being portugese, being salty; made no diff to the Man-O-War. 8MM films of a squealing little kane, now lost forever, are fresh still in the ancients mind. It is amazing how fast little feets can fly when scarred.

With age comes new dimensions of freedom; some can never be harnassed to the degree of control as they should be. As many a soul has lost its way in that said freedom. Luck would have otherwise, as freedom granted access to things desired. Oh and desire can freak you out. You can want something so badly that you are blinded in your lust. Then lust becomes a demon. You gotta have demons tho' 'cause good needs a battle now and then.

***blogger deletes notwithstanding*** we'll continue...sheesh.

Better living thru better times, nothing like filling into your manhood by pressing the luck. Pressing it with a good friend, going on dawn patrols on 5 speed schwinns in the early dawn. Peddaling miles to the beach. Watch crappy ass 8MM fils from Seans brother of the far away North Shore. Getting wave service when out in the water, feeling like we owned the world, and nothing at the same time...

When sayings and times collide "can you handle the worst possible thing that can happen to you out there?" can? Then lets go. Eating absolute shit and living to tell. Realistically thinking as a wave approaches and you are out of position, that - "fuck, I am going to get obliterated" or worse...die. Realx. You are water. Go with it and never, ever panic. Air. Airs good. Especially when you are out of it.

I cant explain it.

The giving of that internal combustion of stoke to the next player.

The next generation.

No smile can out do the one after that gift has been passed.

Stoke in life amplified past the 10.

Turn the volume up, please.

Aloha.

Hotel Propaganda Class

Was supposed to go to part 9,768 of the pinks propaganda fest. 4 hours of blithering idiots trying to persuade yours truly into - "branding starwood" as a daily occurence (like taking a shit) in my routine life.

Ha.

Like a good dweeb, I skipped class today.

Took Mai to school. Hung out with KJ and Lady C and Aunty R and Me-shell. Went to Costco. Went to City Mill.

Reapired a ding on a board that i have put off for too long.

I really, really like the smell of Resin and Fiberglass. Its kinda refreshing to me. Not to mention, a mild hallucinogenic. ( I'm KIDDING, OK?)

Back to the propaganda at hand. I couldnt see sitting thru another (yes, this was supposed to be Pt 5 & 6) and I could not for the life of me, nor the being paid for it factor, go to it.

So the revolution will be televised.

Kj helped clean yard, and fix ding in the board, and create general havoc. We have a leader for the revolution.

But I am sitting here at the damn pink for no reason other than I have to.

24 tomorrow.

Little Kenny - it hashes out "Love is a cleansing dew"...more or less.


Aloha.

(yeah, still.................Aloha.)

4 Moms 4 Mothers Day

Hope all you mothers had a great mothers day.

Snicker.

At the compound, 4 Moms for mothers day makes one weak in the pocket. C, Aunty, M, and Sandy are all Moms. So lots of flowery love all around.



Damn trouble maker

Lady C's friend, and my mortal enemy.

Naked children graced my lawn when I got home from 24 at the firecom, followed by 10 at the pink.






Champer went nuts on the slip and slide w/ Marley, Tom's step-daughter.






Hope you are all well and safe.


12 hour shift at the pink, and 24 tomorrow.

Did surf yesterday, tho'

Small and clean, and met a friend from way back. Wonder what it is like to have a normal life?

Aloha....!

Imu Photos

Unfortunately, the Imu wasnt at our house, but at Lady C's cousins ranch. It did mean that a certain fella got to chase all kine animals around.








Thank you all for the kind wishes.

And Ken, if you can figure a way to be home at a certain delivery time, I'll sned ya some Kalua Pork.

Along with the shirt, but ya gotta wear it on May 27th!


Aloha!

Love is like cleansing dew

Guess apologies are in order. Rants aside, excuse, eh? Never meant to offend nor worry.


Imu

Fact of the matter is, when you have many personalities in one abode, being the peacekeeper/head of da hale* (home) it gets a bit of juggling going down to keep ones sanity.

So sanity aside, I put my Playdoh brain mush back in its container and will step back into the world of niceness and flowers.

Maybe not.

But I will make a effort to remain positive amongst the excrement.

Ok?



Imu time


So the meat went into the Imu (underground oven) and came out all delicious and great. Lady C and Aunty R along with the queenines cousin did the cooking and digging with assistance from KJ.

There is nothing more dpressing than to know what is occuring in someones life and not being able to help. Help, when denied, is assistance forgotten. So be it. Cant make someone see what they dont want to. Wont stress about it if I can help it.

Gotta work anyway, and that will keep me on the even keel as long as I dont break my fingers snapping pencils at the pink.

You all be good, I will.

Aloha.

PlayDoh.

Wet chemicals can ignite under the right circumstances
or conditions.
Wishing you we here

****deleted****

Never mind.

Things suck.

Not as well as open ended lefts. But they suck.


Distant Dreams.

Into it, it must fall, but torrents of it I can do with out.

Clouds?

Nah.

Thunder headed cumulo nimbus.

Or whatevas.

Tsch!

Ruins

Scattered hate filled words that no longer carry any meaning what so ever.






Sometimes tire of trying to be hopeful.

'Nuff already

Pau. Nuff.

Stand.

'bout time.

Surf Session # 54,276. (or thereabouts)

Drove the kiddo to school this morning, the thing I love about driving her to school is listening to NPR on the radio, and talking story with her. (when she is in the mood) The love I have for this family keeps growing when the stars decide to align in optimum unison. So today wasnt one of those, but we did have a pretty cool discussion on dealing with people in diffrent situations that fall our way in life.

Mai is not the principals list type student, hell, not even the janitor's list either. But neither was/is her Dad. Most important in her educational experience is getting the idea of effort down. The idea that even if you can not perform some function on a test, or regurgitate facts, you can still feel accomplishment in giving it your best. I dont know how she views my propapganda, but it seems to work. She keeps going for it, keeps trying, and keeps a pretty damn cheery outlook for one who struggles so mightily.

Then you got the inter-female type BS that occurs all around the feminine universe, I reckon. Goddamn, wimmens can sure breathe some hell-fire at each other. OK, we wont go into specifics, but damn, evil whenches abound at a all-girls catholic school.

And on to todays surf -

Surfed the fabled spot of my usual bodily demise; the china walls. Met up with a friend from a friends surf-web site, and had a fun session. Windy, peaky, and hella-good time spent in the old mother ocean. It def beats the snow.

Tons of apologies and aloha to all of you knee deep in sleet, snow, and various other cold-like shit.

For real.

Springs coming, mainlanders!

Although I have no concept of what 'spring' means as a season. Shit its the same everyday here.

Better get back to doing something at this pinkness that jobbo2 has become.

Aloha, warm weather wishes for all.

Malasadas Missed

Every Shrove Tuesday, Grandma Minnine would make malasadas. Not this Tuesday, or any for the past years. She would cook, and clean, and fry and mother.

She'd rule and speak, tone and state.

Portugese Grams are like that.

She'd go to mass on ash wednesday; rejoicing in her belief.

Miss ya Gram.


Bay Time


Party Time


Hope you are still using toooooo much damn butter in heaven, still.


Aloha.

Lady C gotta tat

So F It meant surf, and so as that goes, I am gonzers. Time for sleep. Gotta 24 'morrow, and it is sure to be hectic.

Hit the usuals FP wind aided surfapalooza this morn, and it did not fail. Wind and waves, and bust ass work out. Good 2 go.



Serious

Beauty

Ink on her


Heart felt aloha to you all.

Mackers

the north shore is blazing.


From Hawaiian water shots, J Ballenger photo

And certain creatins have just about had it with working at the old hella pink.

I resemble that remark, dontcha know.

Think I'll say say Fuck It to work on Friday. Gotta 24 on Saturday anywhooose.

Dream On.

Train Kept a rollin'.

And ...

Aloha.

New Fish Board / Mine, well, maybe KJ's

So after a very rough shift of HFD stuff,lessseeee, child drowning, child falling out of 2nd floor window, idiot media people, 2nd suicide in the same spot as Fridays shift, and it was the GF killing herself this time.

Disclaimer - Dont read if you dont want honest, skip past the pix to more thoughtful stuffage, 'K?

I am going to rant like shit about the selfishness of suicide. If you knew what you looked like when people have to clean up after the selfish deed, you wouldnt. If you saw the pictures of your insides after the school of sharks feasted on your dead corpse, you wouldnt. If you knew how many OTHERS you hurt, you wouldnt. If you knew how many OTHERS were put at risk, you wouldnt.

OK, I'm done.

On a brighter note -

Photo's Courtesy Neosponge



Photo's from Neosponge

I bought I wonderful board off of a friend, Neil. He not only rocks as a Photog, but is a nice soul to boot.

So I have a new stick, which means..............

Kaleo James has his first surfboard.

And being he is all of 8 months old (or thereabouts) He has some waiting to do.

So I will prep it for him, by just adding water.

Went for a surf this morning, and it was good to wash the sins off. Not only was there some fairly good surf, I got to be a greedy little shit and enjoy it all by myself. Bonus added was the pod of humbacks jumping for valentines day joy.

Aloha.

And yeah, I bought the evil Lady C two dozen roses on the way home.

Such da romantic, yeah?

Peace.

Getting Physical

surf1
surf2
surf3


Action, in any form, creates a better person. I imagine this everytime my sorry ass feels tired, and doesnt want to move its sorry-ass self along at a greater rate of speed. There is only so much free time in my work-soaked life to enjoy things that I want to. So keeping the action part in mind, I had my required City and County Of Honolulu (BULLSHIT) physical on Friday.

It isnt like I fear a physical. Whats to fear? - "Hey, you have a third nut down here, sir!" - Isnt likely to be said. "Hmmmm strange lump in the orbitalpreeniumperspaectuseretus stera delta dawn area" ...Uh whats that, Doc? And so on. So I go in, knowing full well that the 15 minutes it takes the City to find out I breathe, and pee, is not gonna discover anything that I prolly dont already know.

Not that the C & C doesnt care about us, of course they do. They care enough to find out if they can prevent a law suit, is the reason for this "7-11" of physicals. I think they must put people out of work for High BP more often than the disease of Hypertension does on its own. Cover your ass, the ccorporation consel always says, I guess.

Quickly enough, I have gotten the Weight (184) BP (170/60) Pulse (65) and Height (still 5'11", altho' innaresssingly enough, they added .75 to the inches. WTF? I am growing at 48? So, officially, I am 5 feet, 11.75 inches tall.) Just further to fall, if you ask me. Eyesight still sucks, but get sternly told that I need to bring reading glasses next year. WTF2 - Why? I cant see far doofus! If I take off my glasses, I dont need arm extenders, either! WTF3 - So why would I want to bring reading glasses, when if I want to read, I just take the damn things off. And again, I dont hold the damn material further away or closer than normal. It is the 1950 eye machine BS if you ask me.

Anywho.

On to the PFT, which measures the capacity of your lungs, cause as a Firefighter, you wear the SCBA, and have to have a certain amount of Pulmonary function to work. The pessimist in me says BS, you just want to know how much shit is in my lungs so if I die in a fire, you can say it was my own fault, but I digress. Pass that without a hitch, and it is on to the Doctor.

Quickly through him and done.

Passed again, and off to work.

Got off this morning, and went surfing before the troops could corral me into doing anything that I really didnt want to do.

Being selfish has its perks, I guess. Good waves, sunshine and coffee. Now to the pink for more abuse.

Aloha!

OK, I am better now.

Please resume scheduled normality.


Courtesy, Laks


Whateva that means.

B R E A T H E.

Free Bitching! (ode to over-paid Pro-Bowlers)

The NFL is in town. They likey high priced hotels. Most are OK. Some are not.

- You make a hell of a lotta money playing a game.

Tip, assholes.

- You have fans.

Sign, assholes.

- The world does not revolve around you.

Hard to believe, I know, but deal with it.

- Yes, shits expensive here.

Why the fuck you think I work 2 jobs?

- No, you are not automatically the first in line.

Where were you in 1st grade?

- Yes, by god, it is raining.

Did you even watch the fucking superbowl? No, I guess you was chilling at youse crib. And no, I cant change the fucking weather.

- The grass shacks went out with the monarchy.

Why the fuck do they always ask that shit?

- 6 foot tweleve does not mean shit if you have no class.

Please review the "first in line" bitch.

- Yes, all rental cars are obvious.

Even the friking Hummers, fools.

- There is a lotta good you could do.

Blasting gangster rap/country tunes from a rental @ 11PM isnt one of them.

I feel much better now.

Shoots.

Aloha.



*BTW, real men who played the greatest game ever invented, folded up their helmets, and stuck 'em in the back pocket.


My attitude will be better, soon.

- Oh, and one more bitch - To the companies that bring the "special incentive" people here for the Pro Bowl; drunk, obnoxious isnt gonna make me buy your product.

Fo' real.

OK, I am done.

You may resume normal activities.

Aloha, once again.

My calming sea.

Just a calm before looking for a sick wave or 2 before the hell of her pink hotelness.


Tutu Man and Champ

Pre surf hugs and stuff.

X2


Shoots, then.

Aloha

Shes killing me.

Queens of spoooooky shit, indeed.

Really. I am out-numbered by 3 post menapausal and 1 young lady and a girly-girl...VS. Only Me.

There really should be a law.

More Sinfest


My girls are stalking my sanity.


My (Mai) Girl

All of 'em.


Ay sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh


Aloha.