Surf session report

I forgot for a while what this blog was supposed to be about.

Surfing. Maybe lose/lost a few readers, sorry.

I'll kwitmybitching now and focus on more positive outlooks.




The days session turned out pretty good. Trades are back, and the breezes combed the faces of the waves pretty good. A bit stiff at times, and a tad inconsistent in the swell. Meaning - not a lot of waves coming in often. No complaints here, tho'. Just stoked to be wet.







Not much of a crowd, and no bad attitudes so thats a plus. Caught a buncha waves and set down some solid lines and carves with the Makani 9'0" Couple of pretty good drops and carves, not to mention a little tuck into the barrel on a good sized one.






Nalu was out. He is a Firefighter friend/brother. Excellent waterman. Capatalize excellent. Good to see him, and talk story. His dad was a rescue captain for years, and another superb waterman. He used to go with Nalu and paddle in the morning on Kayaks before going on duty at 0800. One day while he was with Nalu, he had a massive heartattack while paddling. Imagine being with your father; enjoying nature, and wham!, just like that he is gone. CPR on a kayak is next to impossible. Nalu is a good soul.





Need to work on the photog skills. Dont really have a knack for this cam, (like I have any knacks at all)





Aloha!

Random Pix

Tastes Better

I'll just lay down, for a little bit.

Aloha.

Cookies for 270

The pink is packed. It is the start of summer, and the weather has been unreal choice. Just gorgeous. Light trades, 80+ in the sun, full moon nights and starry evenings granting bliss to all the tourist-types willing to part with big time coin to visit.

Yep. Its busy.

Tonight we have a gala for over 2000 Japanese Cosmetic sales ladies. 2000. Hella lot. And the company that they work for signature color is, of course, Pink. Big bucks on the line here, as they bought out the Monday Luau to the tune of well over 50K. Thats just to NOT have the luau tonight, so they can have the gala. Thats gonna cost a pretty damn big Yen extra.

But hey, lets say "sexual intercourse that" - and get right to the fun of idiots.

Last night, a perfect evening of just busy enough to be steady, and not too busy as to be impossible was coming to a glorious end. 1030PM, the close 'em up and tally 'em up time.

Room 270, The Fanelli party calls.

"Aloha, In-Room dining, this is Mar...-"

I want 2 fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies and a tall glass of milk, right away.

(you are already on my bad side for cutting off the fucking standard starwood intro, biatch)

"I do not believe we have any cookies at this hour, but please let me check with the kitchen"

Ooooh you better. You did on Friday. And you damn well better have them tonight.

(youre just getting better by the moment, arent you)

"One moment, *cough-bitch-cough* Mam"

Quickly, hurry up.

(oh Fuck that)

So lets go to the kitchen, which goes skeleton crew at 1030, and see if there are any fucking choco-chip cookies for this lightly resembling a humanbeing. Oh well. No more. and I'll be taking my time getting back to the phone, as well.

" I am sorry ma....----"

Sorry? You stupid fool. I am going to call the manager. I am going to call Starwood headquarters. You have no business answering or trying to recieve and order from a VIP guest, your name is what again?

"Mark, mam"

Mark? You wont be doing this again. You go into whatever goddamn kitchen you need to, and bake me some fucking cookies, capish? (yes, she used the word Capish) And you fucking do it now!!

So I hung up on the bitch.

30 seconds later the phone is ringing again, from her suite.

Fuck that. Call the fricking manager. Call the fricking corporate HQ, asswipe. Do you really think I care?

30 seconds after she gaives up, the assistant Hotel Manager calls.

Um, Mark? Can we get 2 cookies to Ms. Fanelli's suite right away?

"If we HAD chocolate chip cookies we would, we dont, so I cant"

Do you know if the kitchen can bake them?

"The kitchen is closed, only the graveyard chef is on; you can ask him"

Oh. Ok, I , Uh, will.

Good on you, I could care less, and this reptile has just made a good night taste like brackish water.

-Lets fast forward to today, shall we?

So I come in, all shits and giggles happy. My immediate boss wants a 'word' with me about the 'problem' with 270.

Long ass tale short; the hotel baked this assklown 2 dozen cookies the following morning just in case she orders. Well thank you for standing up for me getting verbally abused Starwood!

Of course, nothing but revenge reeks in my small evil mind, you see, because I gotta work with certain things - I have access to certain things that have numbers and expiration dates.

Catch my drift?

So in the evil world of my sickly demented mind, I wanted to display the fart-brains certain number all over the internet and watch how much fun they would have with that.

But I wont.

Not that I dont want to.

It may be chicken-shit, yeah, but it really rakes a nerve when people act this way.

They must orgasm out to the max by spewing the intolerance that they have.

Oh well, 24 tomorrow.

Sometimes you just wonder about mankind, ya know?

Shoots then, Aloha!

Musings

Credits Neil, Hi Surf Advisory.

Been a helluva few days. Champster-meister luau is in the books, the following Memorial Day 24 shift is pau, and 3 surf sessions sandwiched in between the garishness of the pink, and finishing with 24 yesterday at FireCom. I believe in the past 6 days, about 18 hours of sleep have been captured; coffee and more coffee along with a never ending stoke factor of water time have kept this dog sane.

Lack of sleep creates for minor demented thoughts carousing thru my age-addled, salt water filled brain waves. (why the hell do I always try to spell Sleep as Sllep?) Never mind.

Had to do the SCBA competency test for the Fire Department yesterday. always fun to don 90 pounds of equipment - (sorry- SCBA - Self Contained Breathing Apparatus) or The big tank of air latched to our backs. Then run up a buncha flights of stairs, run down, run over to 200 feet of inch and a half hose, run it out till it is done, and thats it. Just drain the sweat from your body after, and we are all good. Passed, and did not falter, so thats good. FWIW.

After surfing for 3 hours the day before, it didnt make it it any easier, I guess. No sunburn, as I am a crispy shade of brown and dont really get hacked too much from the UV rays. Just the fun wax-rash from the board that makes putting on clothes soooooo much fun. Lemme explain - you see, in order to have so traction on the surfboard, you gotta apply wax to repel the water to make a surface on which you can stand and adhere to. Eating shit falling off a slick board is no fun, and will do nothing to raise your status in the line-up as well, meaning "the boys" wont let you get shit waves if you are a dweeb. So wax that stick. Problem is, wax is kinda like, irratating. And water well, is cold. And nipples, well they get 'proud' when they are cold. There is a reason for those wet T-Shirt contests, you know, yeah?

OK, back to nipple erestion problems, and what the wax has to do with that. Ya see, you prone out on the board to paddle. So said erect nipples rub the shit outta the wax on the fiberglassed board; and you paddle alot. So those said nipples get awful fricking raw. And they scab. And they reallly, REALLY dont like clothing after they get all pissed off from all that rubbing.

But you never know how sore it might be till after, of course.

Them inner thighs take a beating, too. Compression shorts help, but not when those session go on and on, and well, ON. I imagine salt water plays a factor, but thats a given, eh?

Gawd, now I am a Canadian.

Never mind.

OK, back to the self induced hallucinations due to lack of sleep. (shit - I spelt it right the first time, but is that how to spell spelt?) Spell check, please. Irreagardless, the damn things suck eggs when trying to do the damn SCBA competency is what the hell pointless poit I was making.

Ergo.

FireCom has been just a bundle of bees pissed off from someone shaking the hive, fo' sure. Around 200 alarms a shift. (spelt alarms wrong, - damn) But it hasnt been with out the resident whack jobs -

"Theres a large boat off shore to the South East of Sandy Beach, I think its unmarked, it could be a terrorist vessel"

Ok. What makes you think it might be a terrorist vessel?

Do you remember Pearl Harbor? Its terrorists.

That woulda have been planes, sir.

I know that! What'd about 9.11? Do you remember that?

Yes sir, I do. But what cause you to beleive it is a terrorist vessel? What reason brings you to that opinion? (I do reallllllly well when tired with bullshitting the warped ones.)

You need to call the military, you are gonna be wrong, I can tell.

(those pesky voices again, eh?) Sir, I will connect you to the coast guard, how about that?

Do they have guns?

----Transfered----

Just more fun as usual. Of course tradgedy is always right up there with the fun. Because the calls are routed thru 911 call takers they give the choice of Police, Fire, or Ambulance. Some people are in such a state of shock that they have no idea who to ask for. And horrors of discovering loved ones self-inflicted damage or death is not pleasant nor is it ever expected. Hearing terrifed parents/loved ones on the other end kinda fucks with your mind a bit, but your job is to rescue, heal, help so that kind overrides the halting-ness of the discovery, You question, you investigate. And you move real fast. In the field, you see the damage, you can compartmentalize the scene away from your minds eye. Focus on the patient demands attention, at FireCom voices are always ringing your personal call button.

Rattling on, arent I?

Have a damn sweet Sunday.

Aloha!

More Luau Prep Pix

Chow Line
Maimai Dance

Prep Kitchen!

Refreshed!

Aloha!

Kaleo's Luau

Luau Time!!!


Kisses
Checking on his favors
My Mom-In-Law & Champ.

Kaleo James 1st Baby Luau

As a culture, we celebrate baby's first year of survival. Reason is deep in the history of the islands. It used to be that many keiki did not survive the first year of life. Luckily, life styles have changed, and now we are blessed to celebrate out of joy, not just relief.



Mai & Champy

Plenty of family, friends, and assorted revelers. Add a couple of hunderd pounds of Kalua Pork, 90 pounds of poi, Smoked meat, Lomi Salmon, Squid Luau, Haupia, Kulolo, Cake, more cake, Sliced Pineapple, Chicken Long Rice, Rice (steamed), Lomi Oio, Ahi Poke, and damn if I know how much else food stuffs.

Muzik Stage & Ballooney tunes

About 200 people showed up and had a damn good time. Lots of good food and drink. The music was great mix of Hawaiian (DUH!) and oldies, even danced with Aunty Rosie.



Aunty R and Some Goof





Champster was a great host, he never complained one bit. He has been fighting a bug all week, and was on Amoxicillin. Lo and behold, he is allergic to Penecillin - So he busted out in a rash the day of the Luau. Too good, huh? He NEVER complained a bit. (he may have enjoyed too much being the star of the show, tho'.

Sandy, Tom, and Michelles family from California came and celebrated too. That was really cool. As well as Lady C's Aunties from Oregon. My Mom came from the big isle, all 90 pounds of her, the POI weighs more than she does. But she moves way faster. 76 y/o and more energy than Kaleo, I swear.

Aunty R, MomHawaiianmark, Lady of the isle


Set up from about 7AM sunday, till show time at 4PM. If it wasnt for Aunty R, 'Pretty' Aunty Gayle, and assorted other menehune helpers, no way could we have pulled this off. My great big heartfelt MAHALOS out to them all. Needless to say also to the folks that came to enjoy this celebration of a little guy who means alot to all. Especially his Kolohe Papa.


Sometimes you gotta wear your food, ya know?


He was neat, at one point.

Lotsa honihoni

Finer points from Mom

I actually wore an Aloha Shirt, for a skoshi bit, any way.

Hope you all likey, and thanks for all the well wishes.

More later.

Aloha.

I almost forgot - Little Kenny particapted as well - from AZ -

http://littlekenny.com/

The clean up took til 4AM, I worked 24 starting at 630. I've had 4 hours sleep in 2 days.

Me kinda wacky now at the pinkosh.

Some good Muzak

Looking for some rock?

Jack White from the white stripes side action band.



http://www.rhapsody.com/theraconteurs/brokenboysoldiers

These guys are pretty good.

At least Champy likes 'em.

That, and HELLO FISHIIIIIIESSSS!

Luau on Sunday.

Aloha...and peace.

A primer for ordering room service

KJ's Bday notwithstanding, or standing in, for that matter; a primer of ordering room service when vacation time comes for those who apparently have absolutely no clue how to do this mind boggling experience of actually ordering food on a telephone.

1. Cute kiddie ordering -

Dont do it. (Kaleo, if papa ever does make you do this, and thinks it is bloody cute, you may take away all surfing privledges I have) I am sure your kiddo is a cutie, all of the little rug rats are. But when the little squirt is trying to order food at the prices in room service, well, dont complain when it is screwed up. And WE hear you in the background.

2. Speaker phone use -

25 lashes. You will get punished for using this. You are not at work, talking to a client/worker/ex/mistress/side salad. Ack. I feel like creating reverb just to annoy you.

3. Its called room service for a reason -

You order it to your room. You should be there to recieve it. What part of this is hard to understand?

4. When ordering a Cheese Sandwhich -

You may skip the ordering of a ham & cheese sandwhich. It really portrays you as not the sharpest tool in the shed. " I'd like to order a ham & cheese sandwhich, on wheat" - "but no ham" Sooooooooooooooooooooooo - lemme see; that'd be a CHEESE Sandwhich?!?. Duuuuuh.

5. "What do you get for a $13.95 Hamburger?"

A hamburger that costs $13.95. In a pink hotel. Brought to your room. Along with $4.00 delivery fee, (that goes to the hotel, not the staff) 17% gratuity, and 4.17% tax.

Yeah, its expensive. You dont HAVE to order. (and in the same vein, if you are really cool/nice/normal - we will bend over backwards to get you what you want - no matter what) but - play the asshole game, and well................

5A - Pricing.

I dont make them.

- again, tho' if you are cool/sane/nice/normal, I can change the price. Or ask my friend the chef to "kick ass" on your order and make it well worth the price. Your choice.

6. Yes, many immigrants work here.

I speak/understand/read english. I also can deal with pidgin. Ilocano. Chinese. Japanese. Samoan. Tongan. This can benefit you and your order.

I dont speak asshole. But I will after I hang up. Again, your choice.

7. Just ask.

Please dont beat around the bush. You want something? I will try. Again, please try to be normal. We may not have what you want, but if you are half way cool, I will try.

Those stories of staff finding a 1937 luggage part in the basement for your grandmas steamer trunk that broke five minutes before departure, are true. Or I can say - "Sorry, we are out of those"

8. Sick?

Bummer. Vacation, too? Damn. I didnt make you sick. Again, be normal. Your kid is sick? All you gotta do is ask in a sane/normal/kind way; I will do whatever I can to get something to heal that - cold/cough/sunburn/itch/yeast infection/whatevers, if you are HALF WAY KIND about the request.

Again, your choice.

9. Contrary to popular belief -

Many of us have been to other fine hotels. And damn if we do know how to make staff assist us! amazing, isnt it?

10. "I want to speak to a manager!"

I love this. We have had 40 in the past 24 years, They do not last long. And BTW, at night, THEY AINT AROUND. Basically, you are getting a version of me acting as a manager. OK? So rant in the day, when the big bosses are here. By the time I get here, they are on Mai Tai #4.

OK, public service done.

24 tomorrow.

KJ - Happy Bday my little champer.

And to all of you -

ALOHA.

5-24-06

Hauoli La Hanau, KJ.

Smiley

Grow strong, be good, care for all, and dont play ball in Papa's house.

Me Ke Aloha Pumehana.

Not Burger King.

You cant have your way.

No matter how much you moan and groan, you cant have it.

Why?

Because I control your order.

So my heartfelt advice to you is.....do not fucking give me your know-it-all attitude.

Why?

See above ^

All the horrors that you think are legend?

They are not even close.

I swear I am gonna quit this damn Pink House Of Puke.

Its only the start of summer, too.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Put me back in the water!!!!

Surf session notes and noted.

Nothing like getting a couple of days in a row of surf in, especially with the KJ luau on Sunday. Not enough hours/patience in the day for me. Lady C is driving me bagonkers with the planning/executing stages. Things will go a smoothly as they can, assured.


Looking out to the bay from the point.


This is where you scamper back on to the rocks from the bay - as that wave in the pix is rising against the wall, you climb up and reel your board in with the leash. If you miss - oh well, scurbs on the body, again.


After that wave passes by, this is where it goes. To the left where you see that patch of white water is 'China Walls' the wave breaks there and on a good day runs for quite a bit to the left creating a tired Mark.



From the line up looking back to the cliffs.
"Honus" in the middle of Maunalua Bay. Classic gorgeous spot. A boat would be nice.


Hey, who threw the kiddo in the bath?

Sadie the dog, and KJ the grandkid.

Safe journeys all.

Aloha!

"Floating in the Sky"

Surf session on 3 hours sleep w/ LG this AM. 140 alarms yesterday. Busy bees, we was. LG gets credit for the saying above, soon as we paddled out. Middle of the ocean, and a million miles away from problems of the earth bound kine.











Aloha, as always, even if I offend.

Time for work.

Droppings

LGREANZ Photo.



If there is ever a reason for a new baptisim in life, surfings the reason. The wasted time of checking non-exsistent swells, the drives to non-producing shores. Insurmountable odds weighed against my psychi of guilt-vs-pleasure-vs-responsiblities.

A long time ago, a scared keiki was tossed about in the ocean by ohana. Being bleesed in a church of stone has its benefits, but bleesed in the open sky has others. There were posters on the wall in grade school of sea-creatures that roamed the keiki's wildest nightmares. So feared, that even being next to said posters would cause a cringe. Getting stung at Makapu'u beach didnt help; guessing that small blue orbs wanted to play wasnt the brightest move for a already dim-witted soul. Being portugese, being salty; made no diff to the Man-O-War. 8MM films of a squealing little kane, now lost forever, are fresh still in the ancients mind. It is amazing how fast little feets can fly when scarred.

With age comes new dimensions of freedom; some can never be harnassed to the degree of control as they should be. As many a soul has lost its way in that said freedom. Luck would have otherwise, as freedom granted access to things desired. Oh and desire can freak you out. You can want something so badly that you are blinded in your lust. Then lust becomes a demon. You gotta have demons tho' 'cause good needs a battle now and then.

***blogger deletes notwithstanding*** we'll continue...sheesh.

Better living thru better times, nothing like filling into your manhood by pressing the luck. Pressing it with a good friend, going on dawn patrols on 5 speed schwinns in the early dawn. Peddaling miles to the beach. Watch crappy ass 8MM fils from Seans brother of the far away North Shore. Getting wave service when out in the water, feeling like we owned the world, and nothing at the same time...

When sayings and times collide "can you handle the worst possible thing that can happen to you out there?" can? Then lets go. Eating absolute shit and living to tell. Realistically thinking as a wave approaches and you are out of position, that - "fuck, I am going to get obliterated" or worse...die. Realx. You are water. Go with it and never, ever panic. Air. Airs good. Especially when you are out of it.

I cant explain it.

The giving of that internal combustion of stoke to the next player.

The next generation.

No smile can out do the one after that gift has been passed.

Stoke in life amplified past the 10.

Turn the volume up, please.

Aloha.

Hotel Propaganda Class

Was supposed to go to part 9,768 of the pinks propaganda fest. 4 hours of blithering idiots trying to persuade yours truly into - "branding starwood" as a daily occurence (like taking a shit) in my routine life.

Ha.

Like a good dweeb, I skipped class today.

Took Mai to school. Hung out with KJ and Lady C and Aunty R and Me-shell. Went to Costco. Went to City Mill.

Reapired a ding on a board that i have put off for too long.

I really, really like the smell of Resin and Fiberglass. Its kinda refreshing to me. Not to mention, a mild hallucinogenic. ( I'm KIDDING, OK?)

Back to the propaganda at hand. I couldnt see sitting thru another (yes, this was supposed to be Pt 5 & 6) and I could not for the life of me, nor the being paid for it factor, go to it.

So the revolution will be televised.

Kj helped clean yard, and fix ding in the board, and create general havoc. We have a leader for the revolution.

But I am sitting here at the damn pink for no reason other than I have to.

24 tomorrow.

Little Kenny - it hashes out "Love is a cleansing dew"...more or less.


Aloha.

(yeah, still.................Aloha.)

4 Moms 4 Mothers Day

Hope all you mothers had a great mothers day.

Snicker.

At the compound, 4 Moms for mothers day makes one weak in the pocket. C, Aunty, M, and Sandy are all Moms. So lots of flowery love all around.



Damn trouble maker

Lady C's friend, and my mortal enemy.

Naked children graced my lawn when I got home from 24 at the firecom, followed by 10 at the pink.






Champer went nuts on the slip and slide w/ Marley, Tom's step-daughter.






Hope you are all well and safe.


12 hour shift at the pink, and 24 tomorrow.

Did surf yesterday, tho'

Small and clean, and met a friend from way back. Wonder what it is like to have a normal life?

Aloha....!

Imu Photos

Unfortunately, the Imu wasnt at our house, but at Lady C's cousins ranch. It did mean that a certain fella got to chase all kine animals around.








Thank you all for the kind wishes.

And Ken, if you can figure a way to be home at a certain delivery time, I'll sned ya some Kalua Pork.

Along with the shirt, but ya gotta wear it on May 27th!


Aloha!

Love is like cleansing dew

Guess apologies are in order. Rants aside, excuse, eh? Never meant to offend nor worry.


Imu

Fact of the matter is, when you have many personalities in one abode, being the peacekeeper/head of da hale* (home) it gets a bit of juggling going down to keep ones sanity.

So sanity aside, I put my Playdoh brain mush back in its container and will step back into the world of niceness and flowers.

Maybe not.

But I will make a effort to remain positive amongst the excrement.

Ok?



Imu time


So the meat went into the Imu (underground oven) and came out all delicious and great. Lady C and Aunty R along with the queenines cousin did the cooking and digging with assistance from KJ.

There is nothing more dpressing than to know what is occuring in someones life and not being able to help. Help, when denied, is assistance forgotten. So be it. Cant make someone see what they dont want to. Wont stress about it if I can help it.

Gotta work anyway, and that will keep me on the even keel as long as I dont break my fingers snapping pencils at the pink.

You all be good, I will.

Aloha.

PlayDoh.

Wet chemicals can ignite under the right circumstances
or conditions.
Wishing you we here

****deleted****

Never mind.

Things suck.

Not as well as open ended lefts. But they suck.


Distant Dreams.

Into it, it must fall, but torrents of it I can do with out.

Clouds?

Nah.

Thunder headed cumulo nimbus.

Or whatevas.

Tsch!

Ruins

Scattered hate filled words that no longer carry any meaning what so ever.






Sometimes tire of trying to be hopeful.

'Nuff already

Pau. Nuff.

Stand.

'bout time.