The other shift we had a cal for an infant in cardiac arrest. I was fine thru most of it; but the wailing and heartache of the family stayed with me for a long while. I'd say pretty much I have kinda fallen apart afterwards. Losing our own grandson was hard; I thought I had overcome it. There are times where certain songs; sounds; or smells just cause me for whatever reason to pretty much fall apart. This isnt well when working out at the gym; as bawling your eyes out creates unwanted stares. My doofus-ness continues. But I; (thanks Ange!) will foremost care on my Moopuna's happiness.
I am sitting here on a Thursday nite; after another OT shift: ( I have like a insane number of OT hours) and as I sit here I realize - I am an idiot. It isnt funny or a 'hey you clown" idiot. Im an asswipe. I have tried for eons to do everything around here for everyone in the hopes of doofi to get the pic. For this I have - 1 kid in rehab; who had his kid die due to a doofus that - (fuck it) I have done more for people that I care not for than any fuckin saint would. I am on the verge of losing my mind/house/sanity thanks to not being able to access the person I MOST LOVE. Fuckin Obama is great but MOFO I fucking have had it with this bullshit