Sometimes, Dildoes are just dildoes.

In the evil world that is my brain, I have gotten off on tangent about many things.

But of late, the old pink is making itself to be a big, huge, Dildo.

So to kill time, I have been trying to keep sane.

I dont think it is working.


24 tomorrow.

Mai's at a dance.

Lady C working, and pissed off at yours truly.

Oh lalalalala.


Thats what this is, right?

Aloha, for the weekend.


Dryer Belts, or why I learned along time ago, that my name is 'Murphy'

Random musings on stuffed a life.

Its out there

So yesterdays 24 at firecom produced no nuclear disasters (good) but also incurred no sleep ( eh, WTF, its overated, anyway ) but a smorgasborg of hi-and-lo lites.

About the time school ends -

HM - "Fire Department, what is your emergency?"

Young lady - "My tutu (grandma) fell down and she is like 300 lbs, and I cant get her up, and she needs help"

HM - "OK dear, is tutu hurt?"

YL - "Tutu, you hurt?"

YL - "no, she not hurt"

HM - "Good, how far tutu fell? - did she hit her head? and was she awake when you found her, - did you just get home from school?"

YL - "Tutu - you hit you head? No. She fell down couple hours ago, I jus' came home"

HM - " Can tutu talk to me?"

YL - "Oh yeah, here, tutu..."

TT - " Hi, dis is me..."

HM - (trying not to laugh, just a little, as who else would it be?) " Hey tutu, how you doing? What happened?"

TT - "Eh, I jus' when make lolo (foolish, stupid) I was trying fo' get my cane, li' dat, and when huli (turnover, flip) fall down, no can get up, ass why hard, boy, I too momona (portugese slang for fat)fo' get up, and I was on da ground fo' couple hours now"

HM - "'K den tutu, you hit your head? or get hurt at all? You need EMS...the ambulance?"

TT - " Nah, no need da ambulance, just someone fo' help me up li' dat"

HM - " How old is your moopuna (grandchild)?"

TT - " She stay 8 "

HM - " She OK?"

TT - " Yeah, she OK"

HM - "OK Tutu, going send the firetruck, 'K? And I going ask EMS for go too, alright?"

TT - "Oh no, I no like da ambulance"

HM - "Tutu, just for make da kine check you out, for make sure you a re OK, you can always say NO to having them take you, no worries, 'K?"

TT - " OK, you ging come now?"

HM - " Tutu, you hear the siren in the distance?"

TT - " Oh, yeah !"

HM - "Dats them, OK?"

TT - " How you did that, hoooooo da fast kine you bugga!"

HM - " Magic, tutu, magic...Can talk to your moopuna for a second?"

TT - "Oh...yeah, OK"...."Sister-girl, da fireman like talk to you"

YL - " Hello? "

HM - " You did a real good job, you help tutu when the guys come OK?"

YL - " OK, I can, no worries, right?"

HM - "Thats right sweetie, no worries, you did great"

YL - "Thanks"

HM - "Ok, you go help , and aloha"

YL - "k den, 'loha"

So that was the bright spot, and made having Murphy reach me on getting home this morning all that much easier to deal with.

Seems my wonderful 1979 vintage DG410 Maytag dryer blew its velt yesterday, so that was my project for today , before this hell called the pink that I am at now.

I love making old shit still work.

Hear that , Lady C?

Anyway, good thinkings out to you all.



Looney Tunes

A moment of silence for my brain; it has left the building.

Not at you, with you

Laugh now, little man!

Dumb things I have done > >

(most of them of late)

Actually believe 10 people wont make that big a difference in my electric bill.

Putting almost 3K worth of moving expenses on a CC.

Getting bounced off the reef.

Having a real purple ass from that. (after Doctor visit you sick-o's)

Riding a bike with a broken arrow tip; falling off said bike, and ramming the arrow tip through the roof of my mouth.

(not pretty)

MomhawaiianMark = not happy, either.

Denting the bumper on a brandnew, $500,000 dollar firetruck on its first day in service, hitting the station bay doors, coming back from an alarm. Can you say wriiten up by your superiors? I knew you could.

Swallowing a sandwich spearing toothpick ( I did take of the plastic frizzies, tho')

Falling up stairs; (dont ask)

Trying to be everywhere at once.

Trying to do everything at once.

Trying to make things better, when there needs to be others making it better for themselves.

Shattering my contact in my eye.

Mixing bleach & ammonia (whooo - hooo)

Wearing shoes.

Wearing longpants.

Thinking. ( at times a real bummer )

Trying to pee out of a slowly moving car.

Moving a ladder ( with out getting off of it, first )

Singing. (ever)

Using any type of power equipment.

*see above, usually ends up with a trip to the ER.

Weedwacking the yard w/ no slippers. ( slices & dices No Ronco needed! )

Being too trusting.

Third week in October, a long time ago.

Being a prick to people for no reason; thankfully I have stopped that.

Or have I ?

Making a reservation for Vegas in November, for a week, and not really knowing if I should.

Confirming it.


Losing my religion.

Not staring up at the stars enough.

Holding the gates of hell open.

Making wise-ass comments to the TV while sports are on.

Using the "N" word once, with the Universities large, VERY VERY large middle linebacker (by the name of Hercules, no less) standing in the shower of the bathroom I said it in.

Him being very cool about it, and me feeling about as doofus as I can.

Sometimes, just being me.

Ok, I am done.

Have a real great week.



Stealing Kisses

Always have to steal my kisses from you.



"Carrie Aereola"

Yesterday was 24 at the Firecom.

Day before, was my ex-chiefs wedding, nothing like 200 or so firemens and the significant others for a rip-snorting good time.

Scored bonus points for dancing with whats her name, (Oh yeah The Lady of the house; her highness, C).

Work is work, and thats that. We have often callers that we refer to as "frequent fliers" People who call alot, most times from a payphone, thereby untraceable. Or via a cell, also untraceable. I take that back, the payphones are, but with limited results.

For most of them, they are invalids who need help with this or that, up or out, back in, or back up. The companies that go to these alarms are pretty on it, if the residents are in danger, or a menace to themselves or others, they contact social services, etc. And keep everybody safe. thats the coolest part of my job, helping.

Then we got "Carrie" -

My day starts at 7, but I am a freak, and always get everywhere early. So I hitch up my ears, and such and get ready for a 24 hour span of fun.

'Carrie' calls at 715.

To put it mildly, Carrie has issues. Carrie will call, and state right off the bat - "This is Carrie Aereola.." and you know it is the start of a long call. It seems that Carrie is pretty much psychotic. If she isnt psychotic, she is definitely delusional. If she isnt delusional, then a big beware sign needs to be placed on her forehead.

Me - "Fire Dept. What is your emergency?"

Carrie - "This is Carrie Aereola; and you ned to get down here because the police wont do anything and my son they are trying to kill him and he is in the bag over there by the dump, he stay in the bag because the guy in the red van when drop him over the side into the revine and I cant go down there, so you got to come"

Me - "So you are at Daiei (a store) and you need us to do exactly what?"

Carrie - "you need to come down here, beecause you know my imaginary son is in the bag..."

Me - "try wait - your imaginary son?"

Carrie - "Yeah, my pretend kine son, his fadda ( father ) when bag out on us , and no one believes me and i can see the bag moving li' dat and you need to come and cause the guy with the red van wont come help me because my daughter and everyone is trying for kill us because I dont know?"

Me - "Where is this bag? How do you know someone is in it? Did you call the Police? ...seems more of apolice thing, Carrie?"

Carrie- "Da police no care, they said to go take a shower. They think i dont hahahahahahahaha know what that means they no believe me, cause they said my husband like that, never follow and the redvan guy is killing me slowly, but i know better than to call the police....

Me - "Carrie, are you sure of this situation? Why not go down where the 'bag' is a find out if there is something there that is yours?"

Carrie "No,...cause the police dont believe me, and noone will let them stop the daughter that I had from going with that guy over there...and....."

Me - " Carrie?...Carrie?"

- -Phone cuts off.

So Carrie calls quite often, and deep inside my head, you know this person needs serious help. At the same time, you know alot of it is more than likely, self induced. I could be wrong, and it is just terrible mental illness, striking someone who seems to sound so young.

And there is the rub - the fact that this could be a young girl/woman traumatized by something/one/or demon, real or imagined.

And I sit armed with a phone.

Police know of her, her family, and seem to shrug it off as a nutcase, even EMS, as she "frequent flys" with them mainly to get medicated up and then is released back into the world.

Some reason, shit like this makes me bummed.

Stay well.



Keiki laughs

On a much, much brighter note, I awoke from a small kine power nap this afternoon, to the loudest, deepest, truest laughs coming from Mr. KJ.

Aunty Rosie was doing something or other to make him chortle up a storm.

It should be bottled.

Delivered at dawn, daily, around the world.

Problems; solved.

Thinking out loud in the eye of the storm.


Pope screws up; Muslims go nuts

Just when the world cant get any weirder, along comes Pope Bendictusfottinmouthus.

Now I dont want to get sent to hell, or heck for that matter, but ...

What the F@*K was he thinking?

Not the greatest publicity photo

I sure as hell dont know.

Like the bloody world dont have enough problems he goes and incites another religions zealots to more terror.

At least I know I am no Einstein; he is suppose to be some knid of intelligencia or what-not.

Dumb move, dumb move.

Maybe thats why the damn hotel is full now, and just begging me for more abuse.

No eat spinach, OK?

I gots to go!



Air Time

Jumping out da bird today, great way to start the weekend.

KJ slept thru the whole damn thing.

The slug!




Load 'em up

Have a great weekend!

Much Aloha Out!

The PSA test / Physical

Some units of this my be inappropriate for delicate senses.

'K den?

So I have to go get my PSA / Physical the other day right before work. One of the wonderous things about being male, is your prostate turns to like, stone sometime after puberty, and before around 60 or so.

Since dear Dadhawaiianmark had his bout with postate cancer, and recovered sans prostate, Momhawaiianmark demands in her special way, that I get a baseline done for me.

That I did, 3 years ago. Not being the most intelligent human gracing this rock in space, I figgered that a span of say "X" years is when you should get re-checked. Momhawaiianmark sez "no" you should do it every other year, more if changes are noticed.


So I missed a other year, somewheres or another.

So after delicate pushings from Momhawaiianmark, I made my appointment.

Mom's delicate pushings are something akin to - " You make that appointment young man, or ...I 'll snicklefritz you " - Thats Momhawaiianmark's way of swearing, words that make absolutely no sense, except to her.

It's all good, God bless her, and her spaz ways anywho.

Appointment made, and time set.

My primary Doctor is Dr. White.

Doctor White is reall good. Real caring, real thourough.

Dr. White is also, really, really female.

You see it coming, dontcha?

Of course, you got your talk story to begin with, and your "how is everything going...etc" And we are here for your physical, lalalalalalala....

And drop your shorts, and cough.

And if you could bend over, and you might feel some pressure.....


There is a definte interlude of uncomfortable silence right after, kinda like I wanna say something along the lines of "HOW 'Bout them BEARS.....EH?"...

No get me wrong, she is great, she is caring, but there is a pause there, that for what ever reason is like -------hmmmmmmm I just had her finger in butt--------Whats up with that???

So I wait for the results, all good I am sure since my prostate on further examination was "supple and not firm"....(hey doc, everything seems to come out allright!)...but now, who knows!

Just more fun in my allready really really fun life.

See ya.



Todays news, ... today.

We had the Mai's Bday dinner at a Italian Restaurant last night. 11 of the tribe, and KJ. He was the perfect gent! Shmoozing the hostess, and the bar girl, looking for the freebie beer for Papamark.

The food was so ono, and the company the best I can ask for.


I had more 'water safety' training for the Dept. today. Reviewing rescues, etc. and going surfing and getting paid. Thats a good life, no?

The morning view towards tonights job.


Small, manini, small.

Small gutless surf. But clean and cool waters. No arguments fom me. 24 hours tomorrow. Jump out of the helicopter on Friday.

That's Pink, KJ!

Mr handsome fella makes getting anything done around the house a impossibility. Gotta smoosh dem toeseis!




Neil is an awesome photographer.

He is a stoked man.

This one is art.

From Neil Miyake

Damn good body-boarder too.

Wave of the day!

..."get up and turn on the TV......NOW"

I really was not going to post anything in remembrance of 9/11. Really. Not that I don't remember, or care, it is just that sometimes looking inward, you make greater understandings of things unknown.

All the drivel I write matters nada to those who were lost. Even those who killed. Someone had them. Some mother/father cried. Even if infected by a religious nutcase propaganda, someone cared. Even if they ranted and raved about his 90 virgins in Khartoum, or wherever the fuck they spiel that hate will get them, they still, died.

The focus of that day was the reality of hate; hate so deep, so mass-produced, that a gaggle of doofus' killed for it. Killed people of our country. They killed out of what? Hate. They tried to kill more than 50,000 people, who were suppose to be there.

Ah, but the hate, it fucked up. Hate does that, you know. Hate couldn't plan for a bunch of men and women, who are not military, to be there for those attacked. Those attacked by that faceless hate.

The military, they'd come later.

So a bunch of men and women, who daily face the trials and tribulations of this nation; some small, some innocent, some bloody, some hot. They went and did what they get paid for.


Not hating.

So I hate the mindset that sent nomads to kill my brothers and sisters, along with the brothers and sisters of this great country.

So remember, remember that they came to help.

I truly believe that is the greatest gift we can honor them with.


On 9/11, I was asleep.

The time difference made it something like 345 or so in the AM.

Our bedroom phone rang.

A firefighter friend of mine said the titles words into the phone.

2 seconds later, the phone rang again.

My sister-in-law, on the mainland at the time, said turn on the TV.

My work shift at the firehouse started in less than 5 hours.

In the following moments, I had no idea what to think.

I still don't.

I watched.

I listened.

With my brain on overload, and my heart in my throat.

Digesting the carnage, the absolute hate.

I watched.

I hugged.

And I went to work.

* **** ***

You be good.

Maile's 15 tomorrow.

Damn keeeds!

Smother 'em with pure.......

A L O H A.


Bday Chick-a-dee

Mr. KJ


Hauoli La Hanau, kiddo.


2 days time, in 3 she turns "15"

2 days till 9/11.

I will be busy as a hooker at a convetion in Vegas, so dont worry, wetness will return.

Say a prayer, reach for the sky, aim high, land softly.

There are 343 people that ran in.

and stayed.

While others ran out.

It is MY union

Follows me in the water

Maimai turns 15 day after.


Maybe I need a good talking to.

Shoots then!



Once in a while, it is a little birdie that tells you. Other times, it can be looked at as fore-shadowing. All, in all, it gives me a headache.

Its right there.

No long winded diatribe, but sometimes, I just gotta say WTF? More often than not, it tends to be a concern that I blow outta size, shape, and convoluted whatcha-ma-callit.

So lets leave that as it lies.

Ooh, hint, hint.

Hmmmm, ...Socks?!?

Why DadHM is wearing socks while walking the dog, is beyond me. But hell, his team won again this Friday night, w/ 17 seconds left to go in the game, and trailing, they recovered a fumble in the endzone to win.

Maybe it is the socks.

Off to 24 hours of tantilizing firecom-ness 'morrow.

And the pink is reddening my okole, as usual, now.

It is all good.

See you in the asylum!



OK, a few more while I wait for hell to freeze over

Da Bear & Kiana

View From Aunty & Unk's Ranch

Aunty & Unk's Ranch

MomHm & DadHM are going to build on to this property this year.
Like my life aint busy enough!

More views from the driveway

Surf, Of Course

More surf

Frozen, yet?



It just keeps getting better.

Shoots, then.

Aloha Ke Akua.

Burnt Bearings

4 hours burning up the waterways.


Go work, Tutuman!

Pinkest hues right now.

When in doubt, Dont go out

Currents be damned!

Broken Pads

You know you walk too much when you break slippers.

You went surfin' w/out me again?

Team Dysfunctional

DadHM, MaHM,Bear,K&M&KJ,Kiana,Aunt&Unk.

Clean lines

Wet Is Water

Sooo Clean

Good weekends all around.



Technicolor Romance

Started to present a few of the massive load of pix the kids took on the trip to the Big Isle, but blogger went into error mode after just 2.

Trust me, they burnt out the cam.

Hot Stuff meets Wet Stuff

Kiana Not Parking

Consider it a teaser, I reckon'.

But on to more important droolings in the serenade that is my day. Long day. Longer nights, but WTF, its all good.

Oh, and why pray tell?

Well just plop your self down and hear me out; first off heart-cackles of warmth go out to any and all that read the "can/no can" post.

See, the way I figure it, and again, just hear this crack-pot theory for a manini (small) moment, 'K? Maybe it appears that a donation was requested, and in a way, yeah, thats true. But more so, was a wish for (and in true absent-minded me fashion) I kinda sorta danced a hula around just out right stating that. Sure, you can take Kokua and figure that into the equation, but ( and do tell, I gotta big 'un)what I sense most is the impact of intense good thought'ins being directed out an around this water filled marble we reside on.

Did you feel it?

That almost detectable rush of fresh air from outta nowhere; maybe the clothes folded themselves; perchance a coin lifted off the pavement, and deposited in a animal care donation can (where the hell that came from, dont ask me!); your significant other looking mighty fine in the setting sun....

Whatever it was, you all went and forced good karma around this world.

No coin for that was needed; but if you did, big Mahalo's; you sacrificed something for a request from someone you barely know, and honest request, but yet you put faith into that unknown.

Faith; weather you are religoius or not, you had it.

And for that, Thanks.

You rock.


Got to surf today.

Surfed my ass off.


I get to do it all over again, tomorrow.

Lucky me.

Yeah, lucky me.

Thanks, eh?



And next week, I get to jump out a helicopter, into the everloving ocean, and swim back in.

And get paid to do it.

Life just is so bloody busy 'round the old compound.

Okay, pau.


* **** ***


"If can, can. If no can, no can"

Pidgin english shortens evry'ting.

So I wont stan an be yellin kolohe toughts at cha.

kolohe = crazy, rascal

But 2 heartfelt people are requesting a bit of kokua (help, assistance) of late.

You know Zilla, and her "beat-me use-me, no one has more fun than me, dont-mess with me, what-choo lookin'at, bad ass attitude" (along with a heart of gold w/ platinum linings)... And my resident eloquent stater of words, views, and damn fine marathoner, Hamel.

You can? Can. You no can? No can.

Its all good.

Jus' try, 'K?

Dats all I can ask.

Linkage -



Hey mus' be good kine karma, cuz get swell rolling in for dis pup on Thursday.

Outta here.


*addendumette - you know you all are becoming surfers by extension when you know what I mean by "swell rolling in for dis pup"....

Betcha your ears are wet come Thursday.

K' den!

No blame me if get sand on your floors, wasnt me.


Sad news the croc guy died. He too, was a surfer. (we kinda hide all around the place) When you least expect it, boom, there we are.

Freak accidents happen, too bad it happened to really honest seeming guy. Heartfelt aloha to his family.

Flipping the coin, Kaleo James, K-dad, M-mom, K-daughter, Bear (son#2) and NNG all went to the Big Island of Hawaii to see Great Gram & Gramps, along with GrandAunt and Unk. Take in a GreatGramps football game, and extol his KJ-ship's attitude of -

"Feed me;I am happy!" - style laid backness. On top of the fact that they beat a team they were suppose to lose to, by coming back from behind.

(all, of course, due to the fact that his KJ-ship, slept thru the game, causing the aforementioned win)

Mr. Happy came back today, none to soon, as Great-Grammy was plotting to KJ-nap him if they stayed any longer.

Bear took a ton o' photo's which I will bore you with as soon as I can.

Beyond that, kills been working me, or is that the way other around?

Irreagardless, back to 24 hours dealing with the emergencies of a town of 900,000; tomorrow. All of which, have no idea how to use a phone. Which brings us to the last shifts fun of phone'ocity -


You know it is going to be a really tough late night when -

1. You have a large brushfire going on on the West side, a area of low-income, low-brain power.

2. Within a few minutes of that large brush fire, you get a building fire in that same area.

3. You get another brush fire along the same stretch.

4. Medical calls dont take a break.

5. and then 'she' calls.

She is THE MORON; THE MORON calls to let us know of the brushfire that is thirdly happening in tonights fun-zone. THE MORON doesnt call only once, but numerous times, of course calling on a cell phone (which we have no idea of the real number or location of) to let us in on how long it is taking us to get there. THE MORON has not a clue to the workings of a emergency, nor a clue on how many are actually taking place at the present time in that same area.

1. Life safety. (pretty obvious to rank as #1, eh?)
2. Property Conservation. (why lose what isnt necessary to lose?)
3. Stopping the spread of said emergency. (why make it worse?)

So thats how they get sent out, you will send a Cardiac Case before a brushfire, a building fire in a home before a brush fire, etc. Common sense.

But THE MORON doesn't see thing s that way; THE MORON is only concerned with telling us what a poor job we are doing to get to said brushfire.

THE MORON wants to know how we cant see it, and why again, is it taking us so long.

THE MORON would have a hard time understanding that we arent on the local corner, checking out the night, but in a building in the middle of town. (just a little toooooooo much thinking involved in that one)

THE MORON gave us her demands, and her allegations of slow turd-ness over 4 times via her phone.

By the 4th call, (we'll just say future-guy-filling-out-forms-to-explain-the-publics-complaint)says -

"Mam, just how fast do you want me to get a 25 ton truck to roll down the highway, if you keep fricking calling with your asanine complaints???"

Not toooo worried tho' cause I doubt she knows what asanine means.

Back to it tomorrow.



I miss hitting people.

Football season starts tomorrow.

Real football.


High School.

I played so much football in my years, I never really knew what I would miss the most when it ended.

Hitting people.


For sport.

Running down a field at full speed, laying into another in full gear; there is a rush that engulf like no other.

Fully endoctrinated as the coach's kid, I was supposed to be a Quarterback, or some star-spangled shit like that.

I was an offensive linemen.

The least seen on the field, the most noticed when you screw up.

I miss hitting people.

Nothing gets your frustration level corrected like laying the leather on another.

The enemy.


I miss that.