Soggy Cereal, (or why you dont leave cat litter in the rain)

Yep. Asian art rocks.

Hokusai Wave

You would think that the rain god, goddess, cloud soaker, or whomever...Would have had his/her/its bloody fill of this stuff already. Ok, ark building jokes aside, Noah, animals 2X2, etc. I have soaked and lushed my way thru the past 40, yes...FORTEEEEEEEEE mother fraggin days.

Breathe in, breathe out. (which I would do, but see there is a this water in my face.) Hooo boy.

The mountains will be greener than a babys doots on spinach, and the summer will come, and be browner than....brown. nad brush fires will go nuts, and the heat will be my next complaint....and the surf will suck, (except for Moms Day, 'cause garrans we will get a swell.

Ok, Pau (finished)

Gotta work, anywhoose.

Stoked?, stay stoked.

If not, find something to be stoked about.

Words of wisdom from one wise ass.




Or.. 1 4 3.

You and ours are on (in?) a plane miles from home.

Yes, you are nervous.

But you are strong.

Too strong, sometimes.

Thats another story.

You'll be safe. 'cause I got connections. And the prayers of one are the prayers of many.

Just like the rain is passing, soon I can pass your cheek, and hold you. Hold your warmth.

Your are the best parts, the most trying parts, of my exsistence.


Before you know it...you will be...




Water. Everywhere. But none to surf.

Asian art rocks.

Wave Of The Day

So it has been raining for a month. Seriously. 129 inches of wet stuff on Mount Waialeale on Kauai. (yeah, it IS the wettest spot on earth, but the previous high was 89 inches, so go figure, "the more wetter wettest spot on earth?")

I am pruning up just walking around in the humidity. Yard is green 'tho. Well, it is always green. Miracle grow, horse shit, and coffee grounds. Thanks Mom!

Oahu has been pounded as well. I think we were at something like 65 inches or there abouts for the month starting 2/19/06. But my sunshines come home tomorrow, even if it is raining.

Frightened flyer Lady C and Mai & Brother K all arrive in the afternoon. All good for the trip, 'cept for asshole-ish behavior by Bruddah K. Dont drink if you cant handle. (period) Sooner or later, sooner or later....( ! )

The glowing faces of the guests at the Hotel De Swamp are enough to make me sunburnt from the reflection.


Whoooo boyzee, there are some pissed of folk walking the wet sands of Waikiki, lemme tell ya.

Then again, the talented bartenders of our Palace, have them so snockered by noon, that most dont realize it.

Mai Tai's anyone?


This is your mind on Rum.

Any questions?

I think I am gonna make a small kine sign for the crew arrival tomorrow.

Just to freak 'em out.


Be good. Stay dry. Or warm.

*added fun - Mai finally got to go to Disneyland (dizzyland is where our heads rest)She has been wishing to do this since god knows when, since before the before. Her joy was so total, so unbridled, that the 14 phone calls from her were barely enough to keep her enthusiasm down.

Pure joy.

Bottle that, Kamehameha Schools. You missed on a winner.

Sour grapes make sour wine. Or Whine.



Yeah, some are.

yes, some are

It has been raining for who knows how long. Raining like nobody's business. Mega rain, More than any one could figure.

We live on an island. The island has plenty of moutains. The mountains have many trails. And many folks hike them.

On our island, the mountains have a majortity of rainforrests. The trails are fairly well marked. There are valleys and steep ridges that funnel the rains down these valleys, and cause flash floods, which can wash you away as a hiker, in seconds. Now on the best days, the trails are challenging.

This was my first phone call - when it was pouring - BTW -

HM - "Firecom, M ****** speaking; how may I help you?"

Complete total Idiot - " Uh, Hi, Who? am I speaking to?"

HM - " This is firecom, M******, speaking, how can I help you?"

CTI - " Uh, yeah, I wanted to know if the ****** trail is OK?"

HM- "The ****** trail? ( it is 630am, now, and pouring remember? ) The ***** trail is socked in, and it is POURING outside, with flash flood warnings, meaning the streams running near there can over flow"

CTI- " But we have a hike with the girl scouts today, and is the trail safe?" ...

HM - " There are flash flood advisories, the trails are inundated with water and debris, the clouds obscure vision, I'd say it is highly inadvisable to hike today"

CTI - "But - is it safe to go today?"

HM- (mid dispatch on a medical alarm) (which means this moron can hear me telling a company of the alarm they are going to, what the cause is ( CVA, Medical, what have you) 'she completely misses the whole deal' - I restate - "Mam, the entire island is soaked, the mountains are muddy, treacherous, and dangerous - why take the chance?"

CTI - " but the hike is today - and...."

HM - " mam, one moment - ( I make another dispatch to another medical alarm for another company )

CTI - " who are you talking to?"

HM - "mam, i am responding companies to assorted medical alarms, so they can assist others"

CTI - (now sounding irritated, with out having her needs met ) "But if we ar in trouble, you will call me, right?"

HM - ( I totally lose it here -) - " Mam?! Are you going to take a group of girl scouts on a hike in dangerous weather, and put them at risk, only to need someone to rescue you because, face it, I have seriously told you it is inadvisable to go hiking in this inclement weather? - Yes we will, but I am trying to avoid that from happening... is that so hard to see? and if you cant see that, may I point out to you that the National Weather Service has already advised people to stay off the roads!?... I think today is NOT A GOOD DAY TO TAKE THEM ON A HIKE.......ANYTHING ELSE WE CAN DO FOR YOU????!!!!!"


Now I know I will get in shit for this, but everything is recorded, I didnt swear, i answered questions and dealt with a MORON...

With out killing 'em





Whats the sound when you need to remove?

Old Vegas

So the family is on the mainland. Son 2 is still here but he doesnt live with us. He is a great kid. I am lucky to have both ends of the spectrum coming closer together (so far!)

Maimai got her rejection notice from Kamehameha Schools today, I wont be telling her or the Lady C 'till they return. 848 requests for admission, 130 spots. Maimai was a hardway bet away from entry, but ya gotta try. Something like 500 females for maybe 70 openings. Our district had 98 applications for 6 openings. ADHD doesnt play well with others, toooooo much challenge or the educators. Eh, you go with the flow, and see what happens along the razor blade that is life.

Hopefully, I wont still be riding it naked. (the razor blade, that is)

Expunging demons is a skill I lack at. There are dreams and images that are seeking a place to go to, and the inn is full. It is hard to explain why it is so hard to ignore the sights and sounds that continue long after the emergency has been mitigated. I guess it is good that I care, and that I feel some loss at anothers demise, or injury. It just isnt good for me. Sometimes, I just sense that something really bad is coming in over the circuit (the alarm that would "bop" us at the firehouse) I would lay awake, and KNOW that something is brewing out in the cosmos. 7 outta 10 times, I was right. It could be a auto accident, or a stroke, building fire maybe. They all meld together in a really bizarre way - They float out in my mind, waiting for some smell, action, or sound to yank me away and force me to see the goddamn thing all over again. Once they come, they leave real quick, but the reverb they cause keeps bouncing of the walls of my soul.
Things change, and with the time in Firecom, it is not hands on horror as it has become managing the horror.

Does that make sense? It has become instead of 4 or 5 alarms in a shift, or say, 20 in a work cycle at the Firehouse, to now being alarms number in the hundreds per day Sure, it isnt the physical, hands on aspect for now, but the sounds and calls are enough to rip out my brain and fry it in hot and spicy sauce, throw a side of oyster sauce, and call me done.

It doesnt help to try and hold it in, I imagine, either. So I need this. 'Cause I got the crew to depend on me. I have to deal. I will.

I drive on the freeway every day, at various times. On the way to Firecom, I pass under the overpass where a 19 y/o girl jumped to her death. Everytime I approach it, I can see the whole fucking alarm over & over. From the morning meeting, to the person at the door telling us a girl just leaped over the railing, to us running to the scene. The radio call to Firecom, the Kohnster pulling up with the truck. The witness' faces in shock, and pale. The huge construction worker guy, just ready to lose it. The ER Doc, who was on his way to work, and saw the incident. Him holding her head so she can gasp her last breath. The crimson color of the blood. Things that belong on the inside; on the outside. Trying like hell to do something shit, anything to make this better. Knowing there is nothing that can be done. Loading her in the Ambulance, and hearing that last rattle. Going back and washing down the scene.

I fucking hate driving by that.

Everytime I hear the word 'stroke' I shudder. I know what the people will go through. The rehab, the way it screwed up my MIL. The way your life changes for the shits after.

Dont get me wrong, there is a greatness to my job, it isnt as demanding, is all. It is a rejoicing; not a consatnt doom.

Thats why I needed a flush.


Have a great Sunday.



LA - Lala Land for the lolo crew

Well they up and left me to my own deserts. (i'll have pie, thank you) - And to face a 24 hour shift @ firecom. The first 15 hours were fine. then it poured, the Computer Aided Dispatching thing-a-ma-doohickey-wazzoo-that has ghosts in the machine, decided to stop working. Which meant everything had to be done manually, ( dont ask, i'll have to start drinking, and it JUST past noon) So nobody here 'cept me and the animals, the rain, the clouds, and the other job, which i am about to say phffffffttt! to.

Did I just say phffffftttt?

Ok, lack of sleep, (hey! well over 35 minutes, Thank You!) not counting, i came home to pup chow that couldnt be taken out.....(yes sirrreeee, no matter what goes in, it does come out) And happy to see me licks....Dog licks...Hmmmmm?

I am a vegetable, granted, a fresh picked veggie, but a veggie sans dip none the less.


Maybe i am a dip as well!

The team 3 nutcases arrived no problem in Lala land, Los An"geleez", without a hitch. Lady C on Xanax, is a beautiful sight. Good night!

All safe, main thing, and having fun with the keeper of the grandkeiki.

So off to mitigate another problem and see what I can do about this rain.

Yo there god/goddess/Big cheese/universemaker/IRS rep, I wanna have a word or 2 with ya about this weather.....



Rain, Thougtin's, & a Tutu Man To Be...

Wave Of The Day brought to you by Neil Miyake and Hi-SurfAdvisory.com

Wave Of The Day

There has been over 115 inches of rain on Kauai since Feb. 18th. (ouch) Lives lost on a dam burst, and many floods here, there, and all about the windward side. So Firecom has been busy and busier. Kinda like dumb and dumber, but with less humor. It has poured since getting off from Firecom this AM. The kiddo and me did some girly shopping for her, as her and the ever effervescent(?) Lady C along with Son (sun) numero uno are heading to the continent on Wednesday. The continent being Californi-ay. For a week.

God help Southern California.


As occurred in previous episodes of our story, bruddah K, (the eldest of our tribe) has a bit of a attitude problem, but has been accruing points on the positive side. Number one being, he has a job. That notwithstanding, his GF, who was here, but returned to Cali, is a wonderful soul, but the reason for the return to Cali was IMHO, not the brightest.

Yes, bruddah K was not doing his responsibilities, was not being a "man", and in general, was an 'asshole'. Not full on, 100% ass, but a high percentage of his action were on the asshole variety.

Confused yet?

If not, believe me, you will be. Sooooooooooooooooooooo, his GF leaves, and bruddah K goes into el-funk-o-mondo, and finally gets head out of arse long enough to mature a bit.

OK, NOW, you are confused.

So the Lady C is conversing with the GF's Mom and the GF in Cali, on a regular basis. Which is great, and the GF still loves him, yada, yada, yada. (Me - Then why did you leave?) Which only furthers the differing opinions between me and my mateage.

Now I am confused.

So come to find out that the GF is pregnant. And the GF doesnt carry well. And other dilemmas and quantities of human knowledge that I for one cant fathom, but that is more fuel to the confusion fire. Any who - bruddah K takes this as his time to step up to the plate and mature (good!) and fall in line (better!) Get a job (Whew!) and realize that $ dont grow on trees (REALITY CHECK!)

So We is a gonna be Tutu Kane & Tutu Wahine. ( Gram & Gramps ) Come June. So the Lady, The Kiddo, And Bruddah K are headed to Cali for the shower. I will man the homestead, unti B-day for -

Kaleo James.

Am I excited? Yes. .............and No.

And the No is killing me. It isnt a "No" like "oh, No!" or a "No" like "No Way!" More like a No that is standing on the side, trying to piece together what is the best avenue for this crew to follow.

And I have not the slightest.

So pay the fares. Kiddo is on spring break, so that falls nicely, bruddah K can get off from his new job w/out damage, and I well, I can work, surf, and contemplate the ramifications that are to come. I know it will work out for the best, because that is what I do - make things better. The creeping doubt is the doubt of - am i doing the right thing to make things better? I dont have a lot of needs. I dont care too much about $, cause I can always work. But the responsibilities of possibly having to raise another kiddo, well, is not what I want to harp on. But it is a possibility.

I am gonna be positive, and see the positive.

The guy with the hammer can stop pounding my head anytime now, Thanks.

Its all good.

I got Vegas in April with the Lady, and health problems for the GF are lacking, so its all good.

Sinfest -

All I need is some sun.

'Cause I gots a Grand-"son" coming.

Criminy, I feel really old saying that.

Wonder when they will let me take him to the beach?

You think Day 1 is tooooooo soon?



TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because......


We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,
made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

And YOU are one of them!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.

and while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!
PS -The big type is because your eyes are shot at your age.

Added - friend Kohnster sent this email'ed pretty true, Kaleo James is gonna be in for a big surprise w/ Tutu Kane Mark!

Aloha, for 2X!


Surf & Rain & Sun & Smorgasborg

Ok between the rain and the sun, and the busy ass days, I went surf hunting in the dawn, and hit some waves.

In the water at 6AM and done by 9AM.

People Do the dumbest stuff

The einsteins in this alarm went into a house that was being tented for termites, to break in and steal, and ended up dead as a door nail due to the poison. We got the fun task of going into this poison, and getting the bodies. Fun in the sunshine.

Dummy fightin' fires in the daytime

Restaurant fire a bit back my bro' Kohnster snapped me being a tired doofus.

Park In Da Lot, Fool

Just keep off the sand Stan..........

You all be good, OK?



Muddy Waters

Rainy days need the blues.

On Hawaiianmark Radio -

Lie 2 Me

It is fricking wet. It has clouded up and rained for days. I know 'STFU', ... If you are used to 360 days or so of sunshine, your Vitamin K level screws up w/ lack of sun. Or Vital D or whathave ya. So you go and get the best Ramen Noodles you can find, and heap up some Miso based soup, and throw tofu blocks in, add some green onion, and sit back and bitch about the weather.

Or you can go to work, and listen to the tourista drink and moan. But for the most part, are very good natured. For real. They get five stars of late. Kudos to the boys at the bar for creating happy campers. (..."Doubles for the town"...) The greatest feat is that they have positives to say about the whole situation. Rain, prices, etc....Good on 'em.

Finished a OT on Sunday, busy at the Firecom. Lots and lots of water evacuations. Lots of auto accidents. The usual medicals. The forces of nature lined up against the islands of late, dragging up moisture from the South and depositing it on the isles with vengence.

But I am staying dry.

Cause I gots a new damn roof!

Okay, pau (finished) gloating about the lack of buckets in my house as permanent fixtures of furniture.

It IS NICE, tho', to not have that on my mind to distract me more than I am already distracted.


Oh I am tired, mince no words there. Exhaust-a-macated. I feel asleep in a shake and a-half of salt yesterday.

Hotel now, and the touristas are behaving.

Be nice to say that about the crew at my home address.

I think it is a mutiny.



Stay warm, and dry!



Pink is the new black.

Wave for today minus the stress.............

Wave Of The Day...

Arrgh. Arrgh. I aint no pirate. Damn hotel. Damn work 'morrow 24 hours at the Firecom.

Swell come Saturday, Urk. Weekend warriors clogging line ups.


Heck with it. It aint that bad. I am just bitching to well, bitch.

(Italics & Bold there Zilla!)

Surf compass map

If you draw a line from 130 degress to the point of land directly across of it, thats the spot for Saturday.

If you draw a line directly in the rear of 150 degrees to land, thats where I will be for 24 hours manyana.

So hints to a southy swell perhaps, seen some forerunners on the way to her pinkness.



Why I had trouble in school

Work is work, but exams go on your permanent record!





The answering message

(to the tune of "The Monkees")

"Hey hey were not home now, maybe we went out to the store,

we could be surfing, or sleeping,

anyway we cant hear the phone"

"So come on leave a message,

You can do it after the tone,

Dont be shy and hang up now,

leave your name, number, even a Moan.........."


I lucked out.





Bearing a cross

When a courageous band of crusaders known as the Knights of St. John, fought the Saracens for possession of the holy land, they encountered a new weapon unknown to European warriors. It was a simple, but a horrible device of war, it wrought excruciating pain and agonizing death upon the brave fighters for the cross. The Saracen's weapon was fire.
As the crusaders advanced on the walls of the city, they were struck by glass bombs containing naphtha. When they became saturated with the highly flammable liquid, the Saracens hurled a flaming torch into their midst. Hundreds of the knights were burned alive; others risked their lives to save their brothers-in-arms from dying painful, fiery deaths.
Thus, these men became our first firemen and the first of a long list of courageous firefighters. Their heroic efforts were recognized by fellow crusaders who awarded each here a badge of honor - a cross similar to the one firemen wear today. Since the Knights of St. John lived for close to four centuries on a little island in the Mediterranean Sea named Malta, the cross came to be known as the Maltese Cross.
The Maltese Cross is your symbol of protection. It means that the fireman who wears this cross is willing to lay down his life for you just as the crusaders sacrificed their lives for their fellow man so many years ago. The Maltese Cross is a fireman's badge of honor, signifying that he works in courage - a ladder rung away from death.



Hitting the send button... Waves of the weekend...Muzak

Gonna pay a bill.

Gonna pay it now.

And take a long hot shower, rinse with cold, and head out to work.

Have a weekend filled with joy.

In The Pink
Sweet Melissa / Jessica

Big Aloha.



Once upon a time, there was a very confused man. He was confused because things were never as they seemed. Simple tasks became monumental, strangeness haunted his days. Normalcy had no place in the confused guy's world.

It started

But the confused guy stuck with it. He stuck with it because -

1. Ya gotta bathe SOMEWHERE.

2. Life is soooo much more fun when you are busy.

So confused guy went to task. He went to task often. Almost as often as he met up with his friend, Mr. Adult Beverage. Tasks come, tasks go. Confused one went all over; helter skelter, zig-zag, spending insane amounts of time hunting down items needed and not needed.

It continued

Confused guy had a nemisis. The nemisis was the great Lady Change-O-Mind. Changes made, confusion lengthened.

Authorities shoulda been notified.

Permanent record, li' dat.

It is over.

Confused guy's lungs probably hold the record for toxic substances ingested while using drills, sanders, drills (again), roto-zips, glues, acids, acrylics, chemicals only available in third world countries.

Thanks...I'm gonna hurl.
Confused guy is pau (fininshed).

Confused guy is off to work. Workity, work...work.

Confused guy has accomplished.

What he accomplished, who the hell knows?

But its done.

Pass the soap.