31.5.05

Day - In - Day - Out

So, another few days go by and what else is new? Had a Hazmat incident with the firehouse job yesterday, chemical release that injured a bunch of car-rental folks' eyes and sinus'. Ended up being unable to discern what the product was that caused the irritation. Our Hazmat crew is very good, and they did the best they could with what we had to go by.
During the same alarm, some morons (my favorite kind of human) lit a hibachi on the lani of a apartment building. So intrested neighbors called that the building to the rear of our scene was on fire. Had to go see that morons were cooking on the lani. Cant do that in Honolulu. Fools.
So another long day drew to a close with more or less no new improvements in life in general.

What else to say? Drawing blanks. Kinda goes to show that my mind is fried, overloaded, and pretty much a mass of jell-o. Finding new a intresting sites to read on the 'net. mostly EMT/Fire related stuff to try to improve my own personal learning. Still incredibly tired.

No surf of late so that part sucks for sure.

Maybe be a swell later this week checking the buoys and reports from the hotel job tonight, and hope to get wet for something worthwhile soon. 'Cause not being able to surf sucks.

Reading waiterrant on blogger, intresting read. Real life waitering BS by a real life waiter!!!! Been dealing with that form of life at the hotel for 23 years, and here they are less than impressive with their intellectual prowess.

But - waiterrant seems to be intelligent, quick witted and observant. His impressions of waiters/help that do drugs fits this place to a T. Seen all that and more.

Aloha for now.

27.5.05

Dont Speak, Dont Expect to be spoken to

Why talk? Hot air that just robs the world of useful purpose.

Things continue to slide naked down the razor blade of life.

Ow, my ass hurts just thinking about that.

What a crock of shit these continuing days are.

Pink Floyd- Wish You Were Here - Kinda sums it all up -


So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, Blue skys from pain. Can you tell a green field From a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell? And did they get you to trade Your heros for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze? Cold comfort for change? And did you exchange A walk on part in the war For a lead role in a cage? How I wish, how I wish you were here. We're just two lost souls Swimming in a fish bowl, Year after year, Running over the same old ground. What have we found? The same old fears. Wish you were here.

26.5.05

Cereal Depression

Every day You try to break me, and every day, I stand up to you. I can not help but continue to try to defeat you. You challenge me. You lie. You are NOT there for me. You decieve me in the most intimate ways. You take my soul, rip it from my being, and lay it out on the street to rot in the Hawaiian sun.

Why are you this way? I am not a perfect being. I will not be, nor have I ever tried to be anything but. My efforts go for naught. I accept responsibilty for the dues that need to be paid, the dues incurred by you, the debtors that constantly knock at our door. All I have asked for in return is nothing. Nothing. I have nothing left for you to remove from my being. You have taken it all.

I have been a rodent in the past, it is true, but for years now, I have placed you upon a pedastal of caring, support, and most of all, LOVE. Time, your stubborness, and your inability to seek change from within, have gone over the edge, into the realm of chaos, madness, and hate.

All the stress of this exsistence, as it is, has left me hollow, numb and confused inside. I do not cry, I yearn. I yearn for a glimpse of happiness from you. But there is none there.

You are not happy with me. Ever. I see that now. You are only happy with others. You care not what I feel, say, or think. Only what you are able to acquire by my taking all the financial responsibility. You have no idea what I think, nor do you care.

I wish we were 14 again, that way I could try to have never met you.

This is a terrible waste of time, effort, heartache. You truly, truly, do not love me, or anyone else for that matter. you only love yourself, what you want, and how you can go about gaining those things.

You need to realize, that with all the religion, faith and crap like that which you speak of, your actions show nothing but HYPOCRITICAL actions, that I find repulsive.

I fear it is too late, that the wall has been breached, and that the guardians of my soul, my heart, my love and belief in you, are sealed, closed, and gone ....forever.

I am sooooo tired, soooo sorry.

Why?

19.5.05

Sick of Dead People & Sick Of Sick People.........

For the past couple of days, i have been thinking about dealing with sick and dead people. When they have been dead for a while, you know it. The have that blue squashed look. It isnt pleasant. It may be job to help people, but there are those that dont, or wont take it. The variety of calls that we get are truly amazing. There are the ones that are humourous, and heartbreaking. There are the truly bizzare, and the truly amazing.

I cant stand suicides. It has got to be the most selfish act around. If you need help, go get it. Dont fuck up your loved ones psyche by destroying yourself. And cleaning up your mess isnt the highlight of my day either. 20 minutes of trying to save your life, and 10 minutes to erase the evidence of your death at the scene. Then I get to pass that spot where you jumped daily. And your still dead. And i can see you brain matter and pools of coagulating blood at the spot you chose to swan dive. It sucks. And you were 17. That sucks more.

If you decide to do drugs and fuck yourself up in the process, I will try to help you. But when they push that detox drug into your fucking veins to bring you down, shut the fuck up. And keep your fucking hands and mouth to yourself. Sometimes I feel empathy for you, but your asshole behavoir makes me believe you need a few less teeth in your raddled head. And believe me, I am the nice guy on the truck. Others dont feel that empathy part, and you will be restrained. So try and handle what you ingest, or get sober, fool.

If you havent seen Grandma for a while and her room smells bad, call 911, moron. Dont call your Aunty, Uncle, Joe dumbfuck across the street. Get help now! We cant do SHIT if you dont call. Nothing worse than a life that could have been saved but family called everyone in town to figure out what the fuck to do before calling 911. Morons.

Rants over.

15.5.05

TOURIST ARE FUCKING MORONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, tourists are now, officially a group of fucking stupid asseating, morons.

How the FUCK can you stay at a 5 fucking star hotel, and pay for a 9 dollar glass of milk with mother fucking pennies?!?!

Where in the incest ridden midwest do these people come from under rocks? Ship these ignorant ass fucks to Iraq, instead of young men & women. Blow their legs and arms and brains off.

Because I know they dont use it.

Fucking dumb-ass motherfucking tourists.

Arrrrrrggggghhhh!

WTF ? ? ?

What the fuck. It pretty much says it all, doesnt it? WTF is going on? WTF is happening? WTF are you doing? WTF is your f'in problem? WTF is coming next? WTF, WTF, WTF. Not the best use of the english language, but then again, I do not claim to be a scholar, do I?

So with that said, WTF?

I sure dont know what it is about lately, but I can sure say that it isnt good. Seems like everything that is attempted, it goes awry. FUCK! I cant stand when the limits of my vocabulary are exposed by fate, badluck, and distempered people. I try. Shit, I try. Work to fucking jobs. Work my ass off at the firehouse, but up with retards and inverterbrates at this fucking hotel, and dont ask for shit in return. Just a few beers, a day or two surfing, and I am happy as shit.

So I ask you, WTF?

Doesnt seem like much, do ask for. Doesnt cost anybody anything, I aint asking for support, (like I would get any emotionally, or otherwise) from C. A phone call, a hey how the hell are you? Is that alot to ask? I try to remember to be calm, but the family BULLSHIT that I have to put up with/listen to from the OTHER SIDE, fucking pisses me off. Now that B is outta da house, I thought things would be better. Just seems to get fucking worse. And then i get top it all off with dealing with Maimai and her growing pains - On my friggin OWN,- just doesnt make it better. i shouldnt even BEGIN to talk about $$$$ & how C has absolutely no concept of expenses, bills, and shit. WTF!!!!!!

Money dont grow on trees, but you couldnt shake that into her pretty head.

WTF!

Nuff bitching back to work at fucking with the hotel.

Pearl Jams Eddie Vedder is in house - Nice down to earth guy. Tips the boys in room service too. Uses alias to check in - and has a sense of humor about that.

WTF.

13.5.05

Doofus - Me.

And then came friday the 13th. Not like I needed to be reminded of Friday the 13th. I got a streak going right now that makes bad luck look good. No shit. Not much else can go wrong that has not already.

Oh well.

Guess this is a bio-rhythm new low. What ever the fuck that means. M not responding well in school. $ disappearing faster than I can make it. Fucking body is falling apart. Legs sore, mind kaput, cant think straight. Not that I ever did. When things go along in this fashion, it really boggles my mind. Really. When the heck is it going to end? That is a scary question. Work, work, work. Home improvement disasters. Who knows what else will step up to the plate and fuck me over.

Wide variety of those around. Any which way I turn, is chaos waiting to inflict its punishment on me. Surly, the end is near.

About the only thing that is for sure, I guess.

Fuck It.

11.5.05

New Day/New problems

So we all know what a drunk fireman looks like now, dont we? Not a pretty picture is it? Bwhahahaha.

Work on house, water leaks, walka walka walka walka w/ Maile, tired, on duty tomorrow.

Ah yes, life in paradise.

10.5.05


Rylen, ..why we do all the stuff we do. And why we love our kids to the nth degree... Posted by Hello

Capt Erbie and some other drunk firemens... Posted by Hello

Radster figgering out how to stuff sushi Posted by Hello

Mai mai ...Brat. Posted by Hello

The Start of Albies FF3 promo party.. not enuf Rice in china for drunk firemen,..... Posted by Hello

Look me love you long time...and more drunk firemen.. Posted by Hello

Fairly concious Ray & Keola @ Albies Get drunk & fucked up bash... Posted by Hello

Mr. FF 3 Albie and some drunken fireman..Oh wait, they all are.... Posted by Hello

Firemen Getting fired... Posted by Hello

The Start of drunken firemen Posted by Hello

Drug Induced Drunken Firemen Posted by Hello

More drunken Firemen Posted by Hello

Our chief & drunken Kelii Posted by Hello

Maimai & Joe's daughter Posted by Hello

Lookie here firemen getting drunk Posted by Hello

Albie Promo Party / Drunken firemen

Nothing like a promotinal party to see the best at there best

God Bless Drunken Firemen....

9.5.05


Me and Maile... Posted by Hello

My greatgrandma, (Tutu Wahine) Lily, on horseback, tending cattle, 1950's, Kaupo. Posted by Hello

Kaupo, Maui, my families old ranch, circa 50's Posted by Hello

C at the Diana Krall concert Happy Mom's Day! Posted by Hello

Diana Krall Concert / Mom's Day

Went to the Diana Krall concert last night w/ C. Kohnhead & wife also. Nice show, beautiful nite, small kine rain showers, all in all, nice way to spens and evening. Show not as good as I expected, on the short side, 1 encore, pleasant crowd, ( except for the usual asshole haole - what is with white people? Do they really think the world revolves around them? - Sheeeesh! )

All said, today is a bad day - work PM at the hotel, leg still sore, Maile problems, K first day off from new job - "and he has plans"....

Arggggh.

7.5.05


C & Aunty Rosie Freezing ass in New Jersey Posted by Hello

Kiddo @ Uh Football game Posted by Hello

Me and The Bear Up Koko Head Posted by Hello

PNUT on Koko Head Hike Posted by Hello

Clean Wedge Left @ FP Posted by Hello

My girl, mailelaulii Posted by Hello