3X postage...Why?...Like I know!


Locals say things come in threes. “tree” kids, “tree” deaths, “tree” bad stuffs, “tree” good stuffs…Etc.

So, 3 posts for the end of the second month. Going into the third.

Maybe I should say “Turd?”

Nah, nah, nah,nah.

Momhawaiianmark & Popshawaiianmark are headed into town on Thursday.

Just hopping by on the way to Vegas. (they don’t gamble, Dads going to a Football coaches conference)

Best is, Mom is going to Denver to see her sister.

Family love is pretty cool, no?

There is no one like my Moms. She will be 77 in June. She is about 4 foot Twelve, and all of about 110 lbs soaking wet, in sweat gear. She runs at 900000 RPM. All day. All Night. 24/7, baby, that’s my Moms. How she survived me, I will never know. Moms is a spaz. Certified.

I’d do anything for her.

And she for the world.

Families. You can pick your friends, but you cant pick your family. You cant pick your best friends nose, but that’s another story.

Shrove Tuesday, Fat Tuesday, they start of the “cat-lick” (thanks Cozy Shack!!!) religion stuffage, get rid the sweets, go hog wild, and fast like that.

God is a pretty cool dude. As far as religion, beliefs go, what ever floats your boat. Hey, its all about LOVE, right?

Back to the point, Hmark, if you please!

My Gramma, she was a killer in the kitchen. So Shrove Tuesday, it meant 1 thing.

M A L A S A D A S !!!!!!!!

Gramma Minnie would be stoked

Get all the sugar and sweets outta the house so everyone can give up something for lent.

It’s a cool idea. I am gonna give up anger. It just fricks me up. So why have it?

Cant wait to see my parents. I get to see ‘em in the middle of my day at Firecom, and between my physical, brought to you by the City and County Of Honolulu, always watching out for your health. (well, watching out for something, anyway)

BTW, if you ever want to know how much 5000 text messages cost, don’t ask me.

I think I cant give up anger on that one.

I am tryin’ tho’.

I am tryin’


For effort.

I might fail, I might not.

But you don’t know if you don’t try.

And Moms didn’t raise no quitter, nor did Dad.



*devious winks*

Life in Drive

The Acura Saga.

A love/hate story in no acts.

So I married a car nut. Ever since, well, ever since. The lady knows her way around a vehicle. It is one of the great things that drew me to her. She’s strong. Strong willed. Strong minded. Strong, uh, headed?

Like stubborn.

I can travel by bus. I can walk. I can run. If I could surf to work, I would. But as of this reality, I cant. My Lady C loves her car. And well she should. Any woman that knows as much as she does about cars deserves the comfort of her work. We have had dates that consisted of removing transmissions, exchanging headers, removing shocks and struts, even dropping and changing engines in Volkswagens.

Small note on VW’s they are my dream car. 1967 VW double cab. Perfection.

Surfmobile extraordinaire

But I’ll digress.

So the Lady of the house has a 2003 Acura MDX. Gas mileage good for an island, and destruction of the environment hopefully minimal. She traded in her Toyota 4 Runner for it, and seemed like a good deal, and so be it. But like most things of late, there is a rub.

A rub-a-dub-dub.

I now drive a Toyota truck. It being the first new vehicle I have ever owned. My last truck died in 2003. It was a beater of a Nissan Pick up, but it ran, and held out the vermin good. It collapsed due to tranny problems, and was cheaper, and less time-consuming to venture into the world of a new car. So I did.

But back to our heroine.

The Lady C manages the Acura’s Car Doc visits under warranty, and keeps up with the fluids change, either by her, or by me, and we all live happily together. But the Lady C has the EAR. The EAR hears an engine, and KNOWS when it is not running correctly.

Did I mention she used to ride her Dads ’60 Harley Davidson? With no electric start? He wouldn’t let her ride it until she kick started it herself. Kick start. As in a pedal. That you have to kick down to compress the engine in order for it to start. It (the compression) can break your leg.

Yes, she kicks okole (ass)

The EAR at work.

When she knows a car is running rough, believe me, she is right. So any males in the male dominated world of car repair, have another thing coming when trying to bamboozle the Lady C. Not to be messed with, she holds her own.

But back to the real story.

She knew her Acura was running rough. She took it in. Not once, not twice, but 3 times. And she didn’t get thrown in jail. Which, to me, is a feat in itself. She basically called the dealers bluff all 3 times, they said it was fixed, she said nope. Three times. That is more chances than I get. Come to find out, it is a problem that Acura knows of, and will not repair, until the warranty is run out. Then they will.

On your dime, not theirs.

Pissed wahine. (woman)

Usually she would demand the right thing be done.

Lady C quit. She gave in to ‘em. She traded her Acura in for another car.

A bloody 2005 Escalade.

This doesn’t go well for me.

Deal with it, I will. I am just kinda bummed that she didn’t give ‘em hell. That is her usual MO.

I guess I still have a lot to learn about my Lady.


Rewind, Review, Repeat, Remind, Remiss...Relinquish.

Getting your teeth drilled.

Paying taxes.

Speeding ticket.

Visiting In-Laws (my favorite)

Gum in your hair.


What are things to avoid, Alex?

That along with plumbing with Mark.

The bathroom is almost pau (finished). The glass door is in, and wall. Three out of four water thingys are in.

Notice, 3, outta 4.

One mother%#@*&! of them, the handle for the water, is 1/8 of a mother$%*&^ing! inch tooooooooooooooooo short.

So i had to go to ..... the mother&*%$#@#ing!!! hardware store(s) to look for a part that does not exsist. So as not to bore you, the aprt has to be ORDERED , which means FLYING it in. So for a little mother$%^&#&ing! piece of plastic to attach to another piece of plastic, costs $44.38.

Oh, I sooooooooooooooo give up.

Notwithstanding the cell phone bill from outta this world.

Daughter for sale, cheap!

Lady C went and traded her car in for ...

another car. (this is a subject of an up coming post)

Got the run-a-round from the DMV.

Have to do my taxes, yet. Thanks! Turbo-tax!

And it has rained for 3 days straight.

Now that I am through complaining, I will got to work.

Workity, work, work.

At The Pinkest of places, Hotel Nom De Hell.





Anvil on the head, as in the cartoons.

Just another day.

In -


Paradise trying real hard to do a imitation of a place a heck of alot less hospitiable.


Beat me.

Use me.

Take advantage of me.

No one will have more fun than me, not a one.

It is all in the perception.


Smile, I am off to work.




Up at dawn, before the rest of the house even stirred. Birds were still in bed. Went an got a coffee. Sun cracks at the night, and I crack off the junk from my eyes. So went the first moments of this day.
Hit the parking spot, unload board, wax, and my ass. Had my shorts on to sleep in. (1 less thing to do in the AM) Air temp about 68. Water 70 or so. Wind breezing from the north at 5 to 10 MPH. Pretty cool in the water, actually. Sun painting the sky in hues of pinks, grays, blues mixing out the darkness. Stars still visible at first.
Stretch, dip my hand in the water, make the sign of the cross, ask he/she/whomorwhatever/ to : "keep me safe, let me see the eyes of my Kaimi, Koni, Maimai, and my dear wife Cathy"

I do that every time I enter the water.


All protection helps, no worries after that.

Just Outside the jump off point

Photo courtesy KSBE

Maunalua Bay

China Walls is to the left of this pix. Courtesy Hawaii Hikers (pix)

This guys friend came by cruising

So I hit a lineup of 3 in the water already, with waves showing proceed to surf for 3 hours. Surfed decently enough for a 47 y/o grommet (kid surfer). Happy drops, waves, and cutbacks, turns, carves. Lotta stoke in the water. Mellow people in the crowd, that never numbered more than 8.

Mr. Hawaiian Monk Seal popped by for a visit, 'bout 1 foot from my board and I. He split, only to comeback later with his breakfast of Pufferfish.

Coolest thing in a long time. Big ol' eyes, and just ..cruising. He inspected all of us, I guess we dont rate as mate material. Turtle on the inside, maybe a total of 6. Babies and adolecents.

Hotel now, and firecom for a 24 'morrow.

Lucky man, lucky man.



Surf & High Times

Totally Friggin Cool & Righteous

MMMMMMMMmmmmm Good ^

Why I Do Not Golf

Surf to continue over the weekend. So tomorrow I'll be getting up at the crack of dawn, to wash off the effects of actually going to work at The Hotel. Eh.

Will probably go to one of my favorite spots in the world, China Walls. It is about a 5 minute drive from the house. Not hitting the red light, I'll be wet within 15 minutes of waking. There is no better way to start the day. One of the reasons I dig the spot so much is it is nestled between 5 and 10 million dollar homes. And the folks there dont like surfers. So poo. But since laws state that you must allow beach access, I gets to surf!

The spot breaks about 100 yards off a cliff, the cliff jump off being the access to the water. Approximately 150 yds out, there are a series of large coral heads, lined up at an angle heading in towards Manualua Bay. When the waves come, they first will show at the spot Point proper, or "Portlock Point" Almost as sure as the sun shines, the sets will arrive at Chinas within the next few minutes. It is a left hand break, which means I face the wave, and it is a long left. The wave can stand up a break for well over a hundred yards or more. So stoked when the right wave sets up for you. When paddling back out, you tend to have 50 yard line seats for anyone else catching the best waves, and hooting and hollering for them elevates the stoke-meter in my opinion.

So 'morrow is a good day.

I was doing the polish the tile thingy today again, after a morning surf.

But the weather has changed to no breeze, and humid. So i am doing the tile polish thingy. With chemicals. In the bathroom. And there is no breeze.

About 2 hours into the mess, I realize.....

I am


Stoned, buzzed, light headed, couple quarts over full, what have you.

Note to self -

Use a fan.

But hell, I made it to work, and i didnt get the munchies, just a headache that i can deal with. What was hilarious was me standing there, wondering for a while.






I am high.

Fresh air relivened up the brain cells.

Just another weirded out day for me.



Well sir, sorry.

Its called a sick day

Called sick for the hades.

Surfed my ass off.



Eyes of sand.

S T O K E D .


Oh and i polished the shit outta da tile too.......Bastard.



Credit for "bitching uterus"

Koolau Waterfalls

Zilla gave me insight into "bitchin' uterus"

ie- The owner of which will be really, really into menopause, really love; really, really love to be around you, (me) really really have the best mood possible 24/7, be completely sane, never changes ones mind, (did I say really sane?) cool, calm and collected; no fluctuations in temperature, always remembering the good parts of the pregnancy, never irritable.

Could go on, but theres gold in them there grout, and I gots ta get it out!

I love the owner of my bitchin' uterus.

Just gotta see through the clouds...

*spaztick winking*




"Outside! Outside!...Fweeeep!..."

Lined Up To The Horizon

Battling wills of adults is a creedo for the last few hours of the past few days.


Patience, understanding and a shit load of hold your tounge make living with the owner of a bitching uterus palapable.


It is that holding your tounge part that screws me up every time. Chances are, I can hold it for disasters, real or imagined. I can hold it for umpteenth changes of mind. I'll try like motherfrikkin' heck to hold it when time and space converge against me, to form a vortex known only as -


It is raining. There are waterfalls streaming down the Koolau Mountains. The ocean has a steel glass look on the town side, and washer machine action to the East.

So I made a reservation for Vegas.

For April.

23- 27th.

I invite the world.


(whats the sound of one beer opening?)



The Dog Bite / Homeless Guy / "Hey world leaders, try this!"

Wave of The Day - (& world leaders should surf, no wars, ya'd be too stoked to argue)

Courtesy 808surfer.com - Bud is THE man

Maile got bit on the face by a stray dog today. Minor wound, more crying out of fear than pain. But how it went is worth a minute.
24 hours at firecom yesterday, and home this AM after running to Loews for some supplies for grout. Napped for a spell, and took the troops to Costco for shopping. Back home, wash the truck, and the cries of "Mark!!!" as usual, get my attention. Maile had tried to assist (catch) a stray dog running around our cul-de-sac. We had seen it earlier, and not really paid much attention. Seems the maimai had gotten next door to Lady C's Uncles house (1 block over and up) and he had heard her crying, the dog on the run away. He brought her home, and now I was playing MASH unit Doc. A quick fix butterfly bandage, a call to the ER, and Lady C and Mai are on the road.
So i call the Humane Society, and request they come to pick up a stray that had bit my kiddo. They (of course, being the weekend) were smashed, but the guy took my info and was really cool about it.

The perp comes wandering back down our street. I grab a length of rope, and start following the dog. I finally corner him in a yard of someones over two streets, and loop the slip knot around him, and fairly gently walk him to my house. I call back the Humane Society, and read them the dog tag on the pooch. He takes my number, and will get in touch with the owners.

I hate lawyers. My experience with them is this - They know the rules to the game that they are privy to. And they keep the rules close to the vest. If they lose, they get paid. If they win, they get paid.

Anyone else see a lack of something or other there?

Sorry. I spent a year defending my oldest from a scumbag lawyer. In a case that for lack of better wording, was screwed for his favor from the beggining.

OK, back to Dogville.

The owner calls, and I say the situation, and decdied long before that - How they reacted to me, was how I would treat them. PERIOD. So when a petite voice called and said they were the owners, I kinda was a shit about it, saying where we were, and what are we all going to do about this?...

Surely one could sue. The bite is on her face. The kid is 14. Scar probably.

Maybe I am a simple fool, or maybe I just really dont know any better. I spoke to her about what had happened, and Lady C calls saying that Mai is getting a stitch, all is OK, etc... The owner was saying how they will pay all bills, and what not. I told her I have Kaiser, it will be 25 bucks or so, but that isnt the point.

The point is, I said - "I hope i didnt sound like a jerk too much on the phone. You were real cool and concerned on the phone, and came right away. My daughter is fine, and your pooch is not too worse for the wear. If you had been different, I decided how ever the owner treated me, I would reciprocate back"

And that was about it.

Driving to work, I came to the stop light, and the homeless guy that panhandles with a limp and a sign was there. He cruised the stopped cars. In the middle lane, a car with some young pups, a car held together by wishes and prayers, donated him some change.

I avoided eye contact.

He walked by, and I glanced up in the rearview mirror to see a car load of well-dressed old biddies shaking there heads, and collectively poo-poo-ing him as he wandered by.

So i grabbed a bunch of coins scattered about that cab, and garnered up about 4 bucks, total. He was sitting on the guard rail, the light still red.

What would I do if I was homeless?

I wouldnt panhandle.

I wouldnt beg.

What would I do?

I dont know.

So before the light changed, I called him over, and placed the change in his cupped hands.

I swear I knew him. He was about my age or thereabouts.

I couldnt live with the shame of this, day in, day out.

What would I do?

I dont know.

He wished me God Bless, and it was sincere. Maybe not. Maybe I got had.


I dont know.

I dont know what I would do.


I wonder if the leaders watch the olympics taking place. The hate mongers preaching love of allah, jehovah, Jesus, Buddah, Yahweh, who or whatever.

All the athletes look the same.




If they wore no flags, no colors, could you tell them apart?

What would seperate them all?

Arbitrary boudries, drawn by man, dividing up our human race?

Supreme beings, prophets, wise men....I may have missed alot in catechisim, but i thought the main thing was LOVE.

Being kind to each other, helping.

I mean what the fuck?

Is that really so hard to comprehend?

Kill, hate, destroy.

Over a fricking cartoon.

Over gays.

Over the color of your skin, your beliefs.

There some people that got issues.

Supreme beings, prophets, they must be sooooo fucking proud.



An equal amount of blonde man

In the interest of whirled peas, I continue on the story line of my own 'blondeness'. Not being sexist, I too commit acts of absurdity that amaze the common thinker.
Not to Grammars house, off to work
In going to the hotel hell, I misplaced my keys. They have a "d" ring on 'em, so I can hook it to my shorts. After the amazingly long hunt,there they were, hooked to my shorts, in the pocket.
The evil grout
Then I eneded up 1 square foot short on grout.
Where the $ goes
Not one to give up, I did what i could, only to piss off the harmony of the world, as in son's car has a flat tire. So that taken care of, we progress to the unknown realm of frail brain-ed-ness; my mind. Run here, do this, do that, nothing from zero leaves...? ....Zero. Not that things are amiss, but space cadet (me) is not using both oars in the water.
Doofus Shaka
So it is off to the hotel again, and back to the firecom for 24 'morrow. Then to Homedepot for more goods, and back on my knees, praying to the gods of grout, that I do it right this time.

And you dont even want to know about my thoughts on an Acura.

Enjoy the 3 day weekend.



Rooting around the grey matter

This is a very good band...

Whats Rockin' The Mind Now

Was driving on this island paradise home of mine, being very irritiable and cursing all forms of driving idiots. It must be a pretty ugly scene to see some rotting old fart like me, talking with his hands, being animated out the noggin. 'specially when there is noone else in the car with me. At least I keep the spittle off the inside of the window. Hope everyone on the continent survives these blasts of winter, I truly am sorry for the snow. Sure is gorgeous at times I bet. But like the beating sun, it probably gets old as dirt pretty quick.

So, driving. The other day, the highness Lady C and maimai and meself head to the owner of my soul, (Homedepot) to look for who knows what.

Background info - we kid our girl, Mai, about her blonde locks with the saying 'dumb blonde role' like in if she does something without thinking - "Hey Mai, stop playing the dumb blonde role!" All in good natured humor, not to hurt or harm anyones psychi.

So - We go to Homedepot, and for the love of these to femmes, they BOTH were doing the 'dumb blonde role' And Lady C's a brunette.

I love 'em to death, but for crying out loud, it was one thing after another, from me asking "Is this the style you wanted?"

Lady C - "Is that the style I want?"

Me- Yeah, is it?

Lady C - "Is it?"

Me - " Cathy, is this the style you want? , it seems to be what you were talking about"

Lady C - "It is?"


This went on for THE WHOLE DAY, and afternoon.

And the dughter was no better, lemme tell ya.

Mai - "Dad?"

me - " Yeah, Mai."

Mai - " Dad?"

me - "Yes, Mai.?"

Mai - "Dad?"

me - "what IS it Mai?"

Mai - " Uh, Dad?"

me - "Mai, what IS IT???????!!!???"

Mai - "you'll just get mad, ..never mind"


All day long.

Thank God I had to go to work and deal with more funsters at the hotel.

Is it beer time yet?



Shower Insanity Update

The Pony Wall Detail

I found this one - remember how there USED to be tile here? Used to be? That was changed.

So how you figure?

More Stuffs

It is not like I havent tried to post some pix, but the daughter has shanghighed the camera, so now I shanghighed it back.

Angles, Fanangles

So being that I D O N T H A V E E N O U G H to do, the changes they keep a coming.

Sir John

Yeah, I gots issues. (most of 'em are back issues)

Pony Wall Ch-ch-changes

But in the end, it is 60 degrees at night, I bust out the extra blankie, and 78 in the daytime water temp is running 'bout mid 70's plus or minus daylight.

I really should get a life of some sort.

But then the massive amounts of insanity would fall by the wayside into normalcy.

And we certainly cant have that.


Dont wanna appear toooooo normal.

This is what happens when you put the capital "D" ...

in D Y S F U N C T I O N A L.

Throw 20,000 or so insurance salesman in town to the mix, and you got...

Pass the adult beverage, please, ....and keep 'em coming.



Tides, Lulls, Waiting...*wave of the day*

Wave 4 Saturday

So I goes to the tile shop, I do.

And I gets me Epoxy Grout, do I.

The man on the can says "1 hour work time, maybe less, if your temperture rises higher than at rest."

Cool of the morning come, I shout "My! I can get it all done!"

A float, a sponge, a gattling gun, H-Man gonna get the job done.

Water and buckets, sponges and floats, mixing the grout.

Time is running, no amount of cunning; can halt the on marching of day.

Sun beats down, smiles do the turn-around, for the time is expiring.

Less than a quarter done, time has run out, and the hardness of grout has come about.

While cleaning and crowing, the Lady C moans "Uh, Mark I think I fucked up!"

What now could that be for the Lady, she, does not usually utter 'Effed' aloud?

Well lookie here Moe, she done cracked the bowl, the bowl on the toilet no doubt.

So run to the store, spend and shout, complain, but nothing will come about.

New lua (toilet) is needed, speed too, agreed, cause I still got work lurking, the lout.

New lua, is dissing, the holes not aligned.

Hmark, you are so maligned.

Back to City Mill, so bitter that pill, cause they aint got shit worth a shingle!

"This toilet is crap!" Is my plan of attack, but the clock wont allow that to be.

Better move, or you'll see, you be peeing by tree!

Another toilet, better yet, all one piece!

Hurry up you dope, the times awasting, and yet,

Im thinking of Vegas...and a bet.

Get the toilet in, no leaks!, I ....W I N!

Buzzers will ring, got no time to enjoy, I gotta get to my employ -

This week has been suckers, I think!

Bad poetry aside,

Full Moons Suck.

A L O H A...

Have a great weekend.


Long Walks

Lyrics to Everlong (foo fighters)

I've waited here for you
tonight I throw myself into
and out of the red
out of her head she sang

come down
and waste away with me
down with me
slow how
you wanted it to be
I'm over my head
out of her head she sang

and I wonder
when I sing along with you
if everything could ever feel this real forever
if anything could ever be this good again
the only thing I'll ever ask of you
you've got to promise not to stop whn I say when

breathe out so I can breathe you in
hold you in
and now I know you've always been
out of your head
out of my head I sang
Wave for the day
Live music is better.

Bumper stickers should be issued.

(Neil knew.)



Z birthday

Z B Day


Welcome To Febrewairy

Baptizing by water always makes things better.

Hardly any waves, and my surfing sucked.

Work doesn't seem such a hassle right now.