30.11.06

Light.

It is amazing the thoughts that run through your head when entering a burning building. For all the immense candle power burning all around you, you cant see shit. It is in a world of light; dark. Very dark. Thinking of your loved ones isnt first an foremost. It is the person right next to, or beside you.

All around this world, it is the person next to you.

It is in caring about, and for others, that we are seperate from the mud on the ground.

Just thinking.

Keep the positive, (last letter alphabet).

Aloha.

28.11.06

Simplify.

3 days from Firecom, and worked all at the pink. 400 covers yesterday @ the luau.


A rainbow to start the day

It is truly amazing how something as simple as a smile or gesture of kindness can change you mindset. Finding the precise moment to unleash a grin. I often wonder when looking at someone with a permanently etched frown, what caused them so much grief to exact such a high price? Having ones face ground down to the point of your only expression is one of disgust, anger, or at its worst, hate. Not that yours truly is Mother Teresa, but locking in a smile to someone is a great tonic for the soul.

Sometimes it seems that a smile truly can be a rainbow on a overcast day.

Back to work.

Aloha!

26.11.06

Utopian Dreams of a Small Mind.

Me and The KJ

Pre-Vegas, and yes, I wore a damn fedora on the plane. And the whole first morning.


Drove around town fixing a flat tire, which meant finding the car, fixing the flat, only to have the car blow the timing chain, which meant that the car is pretty much gonzers. Dont have time to fix, so I will be loaning Eldest son my truck, so he can work, and get insurance, and help pay some rent. Which led to - missing a hike, but instead going to the beach, and taking KJ, Kiana, and Maimai. Leading to me dunking KJ in the ocean for the first time, spreading lotion all over his fatness' skin, sucking in the aroma of his newness, and pondering the wonder of the ocean, home, life, and the myriad of grains that make up the beach.

OK, run on sentences; rock.

In driving around, I ran into a homeless guy begging for coin at the intersection. I chose to ignore him, as my irritation level was at its peak, and that was being fueled by a certain 15 y/o female in the seat next to me. I muttered to myself, and cursed the fact that a light had to cause me trepidation on tis guys plight. Since the chasm that my brain is, is want of a guard, so that makes shit like this happen. Which in plain sanity laden speech means - 'I felt guilty ignoring him' So why? Well, glad you asked; the guy behind me dropped him a buck. So in the driving around, I ended up back in the left turn lane of the homeless guy again. So I grabbed a buck, and folded it up. And the sign he had before wishing happy holidays and God Bless, was now a sign for 50 cents for the Sunday paper. It costs 1.75 in the stands. Dilemma awaits. Is it a rip off? Did he steal the papers from the stand, and now trying to use it for profit of use towards getting high and or drunk? Or...is it to feed a family with no home, or way to provide shelter? Is he menatlly ill? Hell, Am I? And why is it that I only have 50 seconds to think of all this shit while waiting a a light on a muggy morning? Decisions, decisions. Or is it that he is actually a student, doing a research project, that he isnt even really homeless? Damn. What if he just needs a job? He didnt ask for one in the first sign, and if the second sign is true, he has one, albeit not great, selling papers, but it is a job.

Jesus, the lights turning green.

So I have another 5 seconds to decide.

My windows down, what is it? Why the big fucking deal about this? Why is it weighing so deep in my addled brain, that it is causing me heartburn?

What is the problem? Why the dilemma? Why the concern, either way? Just ignore him. Just ignore the quandry. Not like you aint got enough on your plate, bro! Just think of the snotty attitude that seats next to you, and the situation that arise from that! Fuck worrying about a buck! 15 y/o and female, you better think all thoughts out! You better choose wisely the words you convey by. You better mean the shit you feel.

Fucking light.

He isnt even looking.

There are a ton of homeless more, under the bridge, not far from here, a ton. At least a hundred or more.

Got a extra hundred?

In driving around, I found myself at a stop light,

and a man was asking for money,

he had a sign that said "happy holidays",

and "God Bless",

i ignored him the first pass; even being right next to his stright ahead gaze,

being further away, the second time, i wondered and weighed.

And I turned left.


Aloha.

24.11.06

Back In Line, Sir.

Annoyances aside, the start of the holidays (read: Holidaze) are a time where things just start out a bit slow, continue to gain old 'mo'; momentum, and blaze head-first, balls out into the new year.

Somehow that is not the most gorgeous of pictures, eh? Yet we forge on. Why? Like hell if i know.

Lady C & the demented one survived a week in Vegas w/ out killing each other, losing my sanity, or going home early to throttle my kiddo's hide. But it came close on that last bit. I guess when you are 15, the world is yours to mess with, and 'specially the Dad that is viewed as the spoiler. To put it mildly, Lady C has a ring tone that plays "Lean On Me"...I never want to hear that damn song again. The Maimai sure pulled every manipulation trick in the big book of "BS, Fairytales and Attitudes" to make this week together a real challenge.

Back in line to work, pink now, 24 tomorrow at Firecom.

Holidaze ahead, school year closing, and me oh my, I am gonna be working and surfing as much as my little brain can deal with.

KJ is prowling with abandon, climbing, sitting up, lurching, and being a general mayhem maker that we cant get enough of.

Now if I can just find my wife.....

Aloha!

Somemore sin foto's

777
FSE
MSS
Happy!
Wynn
What me worry?

22.11.06

Happy T Day, and Back from Sin

Mandalay Bay
Them
Her
Me & Him


Finally got back after a week in Sin-dom. Spent the first 3 at the Bellagio, and the last 4 at MSS.

Now to the fun.

The wife and I had planned a anniversary surprise for her, wait, I planned it. So that was a mistake right off the bat. She is a saint for loving a doofus like me; and me, well I am me.

Split the isles on the red eye to LV on the 13th. Landed 0630. Got a killer Charger form US rent a car for the week. Decided to try and see if a early C/I would be available at The Bellagio.

And now the theme of our time there; weirdness, starts.

Was set for a Spa Tower room, and planned on a 20 dollar trick, but WTF, I stashed a bunch of Macadamia nuts for bribes along the way. Got to The B at 1100, and waited to see. Got to the front desk and started the spiel. Got a room! Early! Allright! Heres some Macadamias for you , mam! No 20, and off to the races.

So lets check out the room.

Traded the Spa Tower for a main bldg, fountain view. Sweet for the sweet lady of mine. Room 14 something or other. OK. Up the fast as sheet elevators, and key the room ,on inside, and…

There is a fully dressed, passed out man in the King size bed.

Out cold.

And I am a Firefigther/EMT, and this guy was comatosed out cold. He didn’t hear us, sense us, or notice us.

So its back to the front desk.

Explain the situation, and this lady with a great sense of humor goes – “Well, welcome to the Bellagio!” I wondered if I had to pay double for him for The Lady C.

The staff of the B are killer. We were treated like the only people there, I swear. Real impressed. Now this was a treat, so don’t be thought’in that I am some high roller, but I was high, a lot. Back to weirdness. So we traipse around the place, have a meal and settle in to gamble. We cruise over to The Barbary Coast, to see the huge arse WOF. My better half decides to drop some coin, and out of it we end up on the plus for 50 cents. Whooo hooo. Maxed out on fun there; it is a very nice place. Especially the guy in the bathroom handing out towels for a mere tip. Donged him 5 bucks for luck. We wander for a while, intent on the first cocktail of the trip for the ladyship. We mosy on over the bridge heading for Caesars.A homeless guy is kind of half talking to himself and half-yelling, maybe an extra half of pure spite as well. Toss him a buck, and he wants my “king”. Walking on, he still yells that he wants my “king”. More walking, more yelling about my “king”. I can only imagine that somewhere in the not too distant past, he lost his bankroll to someone elses …”king”. Remember, Blackjack kills.

Its off to Caesars for the first, well, for me the third, cocktail. Wife of mine loves a Amaretto. So she gets hers, and I garner a cold Heineken. Wander somemore. Back to the B to get the car and head to Red Rock. Never have been there, so off we go. It is a goregeous property. Take a buncha pix, and head in for some fun. Played craps for a while and lost. Down a hundy. My better half decides that a foray into the high slots area is her tonic. What the hell was in that Amaretto? So she drops a hundy in a 5 buck WOF. That being gone, she kids me that it was my bad mojo from the craps table. I take it as a man, and cry.

Back to the B, and plans to eat. Her highness wants a killer bowl of Ox-tail soup from the Cal. OK! Dtown is just my liking for rolling. Get to the promised land, and right away lose my ass at The Cal, The MSS, and The GN. Yes the triple play. Every where was 7 out, 7 out, 7 out. I mean it was hideous. So that lady I am with decides that WOF is the call. Dollar size. OK. Grab a MSS 777 Ale, and I am good to go. Drop a hundy in the WOF. She hits for 500. She hits for 250. In the meantime, I lose like 150 right next to her. The mocking laughter from her forced me to drink more great beer. I suddenly remembered that I had to get a Cigar. Not 1, but like 70 OK, time to puff like a bigshot. Only I really don’t smoke. So I learned this much – Don’t inhale a cigar. Well, maybe, if you want to get a really good rush. But now it was time for more abuse on the craps table. Only it was time for the Queen to eat. Off we go to eat, but the Ox-Tail isn’t served till 1100, and yours truly Is kinda wobbling now. So Her graciousness, allows us to head back to the B. Lets go. Bad idea number 1- giving me the Video recorder thing. Now I have disc-permanent proof off how buzzed I was at the time. Ugh. But a happy drunk for sure. That might not be the same feeling s the B security guys had when I was filming the crap game, but WTF, I had fun!

So its goodnight, and down a bunch, but hell, we are in Vegas!

That was until I decided to film up and down the hallways in the Bellagio, but that’s for another time. At least I was wearing clothes.

Day 2 dawns, and we are out the door for shopping. Lemme put it kindly, day 2, 3 and most of 4 was shopping. God I love that lady. Well maybe. Sorta. Kinda. Shes …OK.

I gotta get me a drink! Most of the days were wander, shop and get killed in the evening at the strip. I do mean killed. Hammered at the B on the 10 buck craps, hammered at MGM. Wait.

Hammered in a good way on a beautiful morning when we hit the Sigma Derby! We had a bloody blast for 3 hours with one other couple from Michigan. I mean that is fun, pure, unadulterated, fun. And killer cocktail service.

We move to the MSS on the 17th, to continue the slaughter. But not without me making a fool outta myself by yelling for Mr.21 at the top of my lungs near the BJ tables, which caused the whole area to start clapping. I was drunk, so if they were clapping for me or the guy that hit 21 right when I said it, who knows. Being that Mr 21 didn’t hear my call, I decided it was a good time to play some VideoPoker. With Ales from 777. Usually it’s a good thing, but I musta hit 90,000 bloody fullhouses. And three 4OfAKinds’s. Got the scratch thing, and gave it to her holiness. She hit 2 bucks everytime. I blame her. The brain of this operation, (that would be my wife) decides lets hit the strip again. OK! I mean WTF, I cant get any worse, can I ? But first she wants her cigs. Now, she is one of a few smokers that has to have the brand she wants. But of course, with the way this trip has gone luck wise, no one has her brand. They do, but it is at the Paiute reservation smoke shoppe, down in the “fun” side of town. We get there, and she is all happy that there is a Police station right behind the place. Uh, I think there is a reason it is there, dear. For some god forsaken reason, it is like double bonus coupon day in the place and it is crawling with folks. I a mean every kind of character you can imagine. Just try to picture Hipple, his ex, and throw in a few other maybe …”seasoned” crew members, and you get the picture. Of course the computer system goes down, and we strike up conversation with a really nice lady at the check out. She tosses in buncha lighters. And cans of smokeless (for my son) and were outta there without getting killed. Why my better half needed more lighters, I have no idea, but, eh.

Of course being the moron that I am, it seems like a good idea to spend more money at the craps table. Lets put it this way- Ouch. Owweeeeee. More pain.

At some point in time, we headed to South Pointe/Coast, and I thought it was huge box. But hell, I aint Frank Lloyd Wright.

Somewhere along this highway of destruction, I met a bunch of cool folks from Cali, Michigan, and Arizona, as well as a couple of retirees from Hawaii. Unfortunately, I was 3 sheets to the wind at the time, but I know we had fun.

But as every good football fan knows, it is the underdog that comes through in the end. Well maybe that is what we all hope for, but “Rudy” was already done. And for the record, I hate USC on a parlay sheet. Go Irish! Kick the arse of the Trojans!

Last daze – we shop more, well actually only 1 shops, I haul. Anywhose, last night rears its ugly head and it is time to really have fun together. Which means – she goes and plays BJ, and I go nuts on the craps tables.

Maybe, but everything was looking ice cold. So I go and wander to the Binions 3 dollar craps. Now I am down to a buy-in max of 100. So off we go. Get killed down to 65, and back up to 100. Radar, a dealer, was the only reason to go there. He,…. rocks. Tip him from “Da Hawaiian Guy”.

It is back to the Cal, and the MSS for a craps extravaganza, but the tables are so sickly looking that I play VP for a while. 20 in, and up to 100. Give the hundy to that broad I am with for her BJ playing, and back to VP. 20 more in, and up another 100. Give ‘em to Mama.

And then the time came for craps.

I wandered over to the MSS tables. I took stick left. I bought in for 95 bucks. My wonderful wife even played, losing more, but had fun. I was down to 65. It came to my shot at the bones. Now the whole frigging week, I have lost arse, shot like crap, and basically been the whipping boy for the dealers and the “guys who set the dice haters” crew.

Without a doubt, I had a bloody killer roll, OK? My better half came over after her BJ table dealer said WTF is going on at the craps table? Made passes on the the 4, 6(X2), 8(X2), the 9, the 10. Hit the hard ways on them all. Not once, but twice on the 6, and 3 times on the H10. I got the H8 for a winner right when a guy hopped it 4-4 for, no sheet, a 100. actually made tips for the dealers in excess of 500. The boys were happy. I got tossed over 6 25 chips for my roll. You wouldn’t believe the sweat on the pit. I mean sweat I rolled from 8PM til 905PM. Hour and 5. I threw a bunch a sevens when shoulda, and yo’s and craps when then guys had C & E’s. It was a duke of a roll, and my beautiful wife had to deal with it, since they actually stared tipping her. I sheet you not, the guys for some reason, knew she was the one earlier had lost when the table was choppy, and dongged her like a hundred.

It finally ended, and I colored up 1800.

It was a killer week, but the ending, it just rocked me no doubt.



Aloha, Happy Thanksgiving!

It's Back.

Back, tired, and ready to work.

But I got a shit load-a-tales.

Try wait, 'K?


Me, most of the time.


The Face That Greeted Us.


ALoha.

13.11.06

Next up; Sin

Snaggle Puss would say -

"Exit, stage left"

Live Nude Girls!


Me & the 'she' will be on the lee.

Next up will be from Sin City.

Aloha!

11.11.06

2 ticks till Vacation

2 days till I get her all to myself.


Sin


Beer


Bwahahahahahaha.

Aloha!

E nana 'ia ka pulapula i ka la'a kea i ka la'a uli.

Da Ohana, 1977

Hows da hair?


Kolohe Kid No Shoes


Kaupo Ranch, 50's


Mango juice running down the chin.

You rocked, Gramps.

Aloha.

10.11.06

Something to think about

Pix from Olly at 808Surfer - This is JUST OFF THE BEACH on one of the Northwest Hawaiian Islands (french frigate shoals)

Its their environment.



From 808 Surfer


Little carnage amongst the beauty.








Good Weekends to you all.

Aloha

Moliaola

Mahalo - Vets.



345 days outta 365 are about winding down. Only 3 more daze of glory until me and the Lady C head outta dodge for a week. Almost didnt come off, but now it is a go.

Tomorrow I'll go by my Tutu Kane's resting place. 11/11. My Gramps. He was raised in Kaupo , Maui. He spoke fluent Hawaiian. He had the patience of a saint. He smoked his pipe in a big old Lazy boy, watching old flicks and football. We ate mayo and shoyu on our veggies. He loved my wife. Rode horseback to Ulupalakua and back for supplies. Drove a '66 Chevy SS Impala. Drove fast. Told me I worked harder than my Dad, and he is the hardest working human I know. Liked a cold beer. Never gave me hard time for being kolohe.

I am proud to have been his Grandson.

Miss ya Grampa.

Hows the Mangoes in heaven?







Aloha.

8.11.06

7.11.06

31.

So bloody true.


From Post Secret


Full moon niceness.

From S9Joe's site

So the 29 are 31, now. More on that in a moment.

(damn trip/vacation is up in the air until for sure tomorrow - ACK.)

Ok, moments pau.

So I have been bitiching to anyone in earshot at the pink about the days events yesterday. Including the Front desk, where I have to get change. That went like so -

HM - "Is there a convention?"

FD1 - "Huh??"

FD2 (a very, very, gay gentleman) - " Snicker...I know what you mean"

FD1 - "Aye yah, I know now, I mean soooooo many couples, yeah?"

HM - " Last night was winners, for sure"

Get change, exchange small kine BS, and off to work.

I have to go back to the Front Desk to gather some paper work shitskis for tonight.

At the FD is 2 ladies checking in, pretty obviously a couple, and unless they are military, well, you know.

Get my papers (kinda like being a purebred dog, I guess) and back to the restaurant.

The 2 ladies had left earlier than I had, and were in The Tower, which is a bit of a walk, and if you arent specific in listening to instructions, well, you end up almost on the beach.

So I say -

"You appear to be looking for a room, ladies"

(beacuse they also have the welcome lei, and toting a few carry-ons)

In the most sweet voice and lilt - " Do we look that bad? , We ar hopeless, aren't we???"

HM - " Not at all, If you are on vacation, you have the right to be brain dead "

Ladies - Start laughing all over themselves - "We were just thinking that - we are on vacation , and now we can relax, and our brains too!!!!"

HM - "Well lets get you to your tower rooms, quickly, eh?"

>>>>So we proceed down the hallway to the Tower Rooms, and enjoy the most refreshing, quick witted, spontaneous conversation that I dare say I have had with ANYONE in 24 years of working here.

BAR NONE.

I laughed. They Laughed. They joked on being lost. I told 'em "Its and Island, how lost you gonna get, you go in circles, no matter what!"

Theres always gold in sight, I guess I should as always, look a bit harder, and with less caustic thoughts.

I'm thinking they are gonna have a hella good time.

Room service boys are gonna take care, and I put the old abracadabra to Housekeeping and the the day crew, so I think it'll rock for 'em.

Now if I can find my way home, and deal with Wednesday.

Shoots!

Aloha.

29, so-so....2 golden.

Good 'nuff odds.

I vote; therefore I may bitch

Voting.

This is my story.

When I was a small kine keiki, I went to a real large private school. It was made up of wealthy kids from not much varied economic backgrounds. It was the 60's. For the most part, in this pro-democratic state, their families were Republicans. When I asked my Muddah and me Faddah what we were, good old Dadhawaiianmark said -

"Neither; we just think whose best"

So much for politics on this surf site.

But in growing up in all things HMark-ish, I stick my nose in where it doesnt belong. I used to see bumper stickers that said -

"Old enough to die, not old enough to vote"

This was during Vietman. As it got me thinking, (always bad for me) I asked dear old Pops again what was the story on the stickers? He said that 18 y/o's cant vote, but can get drafted and go to Vietman and die for others right to vote, so it makes voting all that much more important to those who cant.

Those words ring in my ears every election.

So every election in the past 29 years, I vote.

What If We Couldnt?

Hope you all did.

Aloha.

The dreaded '29' are coming to dinner in the restaurant tonight.



Run for the hills!!!!!!!

6.11.06

Damn the appendages, we got drunk lesbians!

So before anyone goes and castrates me, I could give a rats ass if you like your own sex. Really. That is your kuleana (biznezz) and if you aint hurting others, I no care!

Really, you can have a thing for boning trees, and what floats your boat, floats your boat.

Sunset

But damn, the luau tonight had 29 drunk lesbians. Yes, 29. Now dont go getting all in my face about terms and tags for peoples. I put my own bullshit and happiness face on everyday I deal with the touristi. Yeah, tourist-i . I turn off my brain, and go on vacation like they all do, so I can be at the same wavelength.


It

Now, most of the time, dealing with 400 to 500 folks coming at me paying a kings ransom for a luau, i can deal. No prob. BS and happiness face. It does a brain good. OK?

Let me let you fine folks picture this, OK? We have 400+ tonight. Not huge, but not small either. And it is humid as shit. My nads are sweating buckets. The rez sheet has many parties of 10 or more, but one is for 29.

Yeah. 29.

Try remember that number, its on the test, later. So Mr. BS and happiness face is out there with his BS and happiness spiel, making the touristi all shits and giggles about spending coin on a luau. (the fact that it is a far removed from a homestyle luau, i digress) Most of the coin droppers are happy as shit.


Stuffs


So then comes the onslaught.

OK? All I know is I have a rez for a party of 29 that is under the name (whatever), guranteed by a credit card. that means they are getting charged for the 29, no matter what. Show or no-show. (bullshit really, but the threat is there) So here comes a sweet little thing, all BS and happiness; she says that she is w/ the ***** party, the 29, and that they will be paying seperately.

Ah yeah.

the cheap rate is for a 1 payment, not 29 fucking seperates. but she seems cool, and WTF, 20% off the reg rate, OK, I'll bite.

She was the normal one.

I went through absolute hell with the drunken lesbians that were with her.

TWENTY EIGHT of them, all ripped. You know how much fun that was?

Drunk lesbians, most of whom had more hair on their face than I do, getting all belligerant. i am ging to heaven, and aint noone stopping me.

The best one was the couple that was splitting the tab of 310.00 bucks they couldnt figure out who owed who what, and I made change like 50 fucking times, while the folks behind them were just in awe of the manly asses they were.

I really didnt know if it was "M'am or fucking "sir".


The best is she tries to say she gave me 350.00 but actually only gave me 250.00, with 50.00 for change to split pay the bill.

I had to explain this shit 5 diffrent times to them.

Then I get the ones that are pre-con artists - OH yeah, you see, I have a maltese cross that I wear around my neck, It means -

I AM A FIREFIGHTER, DUH!

So of course, I get the hem and haw of do you know a FF? No Mam, I AM A Firefighter.

"Why do you work here"

HM - "To pay the paradise tax"

hahahahahaha little lesbian laughs.

God damn tonight was hell.

Shit, but home I am, and beer I have, so it aint my fault I got a appendage, and you dont.

You cant have mine.

Its spoken for.

Aloha.

4.11.06

Saturday Cartoons

For Beckyboop, my Father-In-Law (passed) and my kiddo, at about 1 or 2, on the "Hog"

Mai On A '61 Harley

Comedians are coming out of the wood work, and the woodwork is pink. Just when you think the hospitality industry in this state is practically sane, out come the morons.

Auwe! The morons are in full swing. The bargain hunters. Love them. Come at the slow season, buy a package deal, and wonder why the cokes are $3.50. Me, I d bitch about the room costing 'off season' $500 shmooolians.

But hell, its work. And thats what I seem to do best. Off to Firecom for 24 in the morning, so restfull sanity better be gained here, I guess.

No surf.

Thats a sad thing, you know?

My gills are dry, and only getting wet in the shower, or standing in the rain.

But what lies yonder? It is a swell! Ah yeah, that blessed occurrence of wind made joy that rolls ever towards the shores. Yeah, gimme those low millabar lows off the North Pacific, with their wave producing storms. Thanks Mom nature! Give me that open ocean buoy reading that clocks upwards and lengthens in duration. OK! Surf stuff, sorry.

Aloha, pleasant dreams world.

3.11.06

Renegade Saints

Like there isnt enough going on in the world. Listening to NPR in the morning while driving Maile (insane) to school, is one of my favorite things to do.

Yesterday, there was a piece on the Patriot Guard Riders, what a fine piece it was. The gist of the thing is not political, but thankful. And protecting. Important things in this world gone mad.

Today on the local news side, there was a interview with a man who staed some things that ring so true it hurt. He was asked how he creates art so demanding of a viewers attention. His art is hawaiian, and not really very tourist friendly. ( kinda a 'GROWN HERE, NOT FLOWN HERE' edge) but he was asked what he thought was the reason for his angle.

He said - 'too many people'

When pressed he answered - "we live on an island, cant anyone see that its not traffic controls needed, but population controls"

Which morphed into - "look at the poorest people here - Hawaiians. All living on the beach on the west side, no homes, have jobs, cant afford the rent/mortgage, why? too many people"

"the land that has produced for millenia, is now earning income for everyone but the indigenious people. The people whose Aloha spirit made this place, are now unable to be in this place"

It is true.

There is so much beauty here, yet we take it forgranted. Because we have bought into the mindset of having it, getting it, going with it.

Looks to be a long Friday here at the Hotel.

Blah.

Aloha. (for real kine)

2.11.06

Welcome to November

Hey November, how ya doin?

Its been 12 months since we last saw you, and you are starting out...wet.

24 hours Firecom yesserday.

Lets see....Landslide, check, got that.

Hmmm. Threats of tornadoes...check, got that.

Torential Rains?...checkity check, check. Got it.

Auto accidents...sure!

Our finest HPD (Police) not having a clue?....Big check!

Oh where have you gone, Magarret?

Callers asking if a hurricane is coming.....Dear God, check.

Lady calling to say her foundation of her home is moving.

Calling from a cell phone.

HM - "Are you on a cell phone at your home?"

CallerID - "Uh, no."

HM - "So how can you tell that your house's foundation is moving from the rain?"

CallerID - " My neighbor called"

HM - "Do you have your neighbors phone number, and is there anyone in danger?"

CallerID - "she isnt there either"

HM - "So how do you know the foundation is compromised?"

CallerID - " The other neighbor called her"

HM - "Do you have their number?"

CallerID - " Uh, No."

HM - "So this is all third, maybe fourth party information?"

CallerID - "Um, Yeah"

HM - "Are you headed home, now?"

CallerID - "as soon as i can leave work, in an hour or two"

HM - "Mam, I dont think there is much we can do if you are not at scene, and have no contact with anyone reporting this problem"

CallerID - "Oh, so I have to wait till someone gets in danger before you will do something?"

HM - " Mam, there isnt much we can do about a moving house"

CallerID - "So why is that?" " I mean dont you stop it, somehow?"

HM - " Mam, it is a house you are talking about that is supposedly moving"..."a HOUSE"

CallerID - "But what about the neighbors house? what if it endangers them?"

HM - " What is your adress? , we can send a company out to check the situation"

CallerID - " Its XXXXXX XXXXXXXX St."

HM - " OK...we..."

CallerID - cutting me off..."Dont use the lights and sirens, it will scare the neighbors"

HM - "We dont do stealth, mam"...We have to use lights and sirens"

CallerID - " Oh, never mind then"

HM - ACK.

And its raining all day, and KJ is laughing, so it is OK.

But I am not a good kine wet.

Aloha.