I'm digging as fast as I can. And refilling as fast as I can also. It is almost comical how many things have taken wrong turns for all of us here in this land of Aloha. I mean for crying out loud it is amazing. If it wasnt for the precious faces of the boys + Kiana + Mai; I donno, I think I'd lose it. It has been just 1 thing after another after another. I see the glare of the many many mistakes that I make and continue to make. Thats a bit irritating. The worst part about any of this whole FUBAR is that it brings me so far down; and I dont have the time for being depressed. Dont have time to seek knowledge of myself and question why feelings conjur up distress of that sort. Mai comes home Tuesday; and parents as well back to Honoka'a. I mean I am trying as hard as I can to see light and see positives; the only focus comes with continues workouts + continuing home work on the house; thats OK and all that but it doesnt fill the holes; the holes that gape and tempt from losing the oldest son to drugs and stupidity; kicking the boys and the girlfriend and Mom + Grandaugther out; failing miserably in communication w/ my other; and standing firm at things that needed to be stood for w/ her. Gimme a huge set of waves; gimme a fire burning hot; gimme broken bones. heart attacks and disasters; gimme shit I can fix. Just quit making me sad.
And I am re-born. I shit u not (cool eh how I use that u to mean YOU - like in all you folks out there so that i dont have to really write the word YOU like it would be tooooo hard to do) (you may now wipe screen of computer off from coffee; beer; spit; milk; pablum or what ever) when you realized what a doofus I am for explaining that in 900 words. aloha! If you see haggard parents w/ hyper 20 y/o in or around Denver, Sabetha, Bern (Kansas) or road in Michigan (youve been WARNED Zilla) dont blame me I had HER they HAD me. Aloha!
Not quite. After going thru all the bullshit with the pink aka as The Royal Hawaiian Hotel; I end with piss poor feelings of how things went, yet understand how evil management and corporations can be. You are welcome. It was refreshing to know that the attorney deciding things found my boss "UNRELIABLE" in testimony. That alone made it all worth it. I've known that for years. So you say screw it and go on. The Moopuna are all doing well, driving me out of my mind and creating havoc for the island to endure. They are 10, 5 and 4 now. Mai is 20. Goes to mainland w/ my parents tomorrow (today) since it fuckin 2am. They'll be travelling to Denver, Kansas (NW corner) and Michigan then back to California. Parents buying a car in Denver and visting Moms family. I hope the continent can survive. I doubt that. Doing the upstairs renovation for the 3rd time; as her queenship wants that done. It is what it is; a time consuming drain on my back and psychi (e; ?) Yes Ange, I did escape to beloved LV, and didnt say anything. I did have a blast tho' Its such a great town if thats what you like; and I do. Its not everyones thing, but I enjoy it. Gonna try and surf today in the afternnon when Mai leaves; I really need that. Really. Major Aloha to everyone.