Thirsty

24 hours can seem so long at times. It is amazing.

H20

Brutal hours, and missing some swell.

You get variety in my job. You can span all increments of emotion in a matter of minutes, and you can not predict what your mind will recall, nor remember. So everyday, every minute, is full of a certain edginess. In the field or out in the public, you are on alert for an alarm. You are called, and you respond. You use your training, your leaders training, and your crews training to mitigate a situation. You get all forms of emergencies, real; or perceived. In Firecom, you are the start of those emergencies. We take the call, and get the game in motion.

But you never are released from what you know.

Every alarm has something that has caused someone to be at their worst. Hurt or hurting, dead, or dying. Saved or retrieved. Extinguished, or ashes. Your experiences in the field let you in on what the crews are going to be facing when you send them on a call.

So it was a busy -ass Friday.

Yeah, there is humor, and it is a welcome break in the time. The call from Mr. Rodgers at 520 in the AM was one that was good. -

"Fire, what is your emergency?"

"where's my slippers?"

"Excuse me?, What is your emergency?"

"where's my slippers? Where is my sweater?...What am I going to do with out my slippers or my sweater?"

"Do you have an emergency?"

"My slippers are gone, and my sweater is too, what is Mr. Rodgers going to do?...I cant tie my shoes, or button my sweater, if they are lost.."

"Sir, Do you have an actual emergency?"

"Well, yes, and no, I am sorry....Thanks any way"

"OK, sir, and Good Luck"

I really, really meant the good luck part.

There are more, but in writing, humor on the phone loses some of the spontaneity.

Then you got terror, horror, and grief.

T, H, and G never take a holiday. They have one hell of a union. They are paid overtime everyday as far as I am concerned. We had 4 building fires yesterday, and the shift before, a death from fire.

The responsibilities from my end are many, but way different from a company extinguishing a fire.

Memory, though, doesnt rest.

I know what a dead burn victim looks like. It is not a pretty picture, nor is it a fragrant one. So knowing this, and knowing what a crew is coming upon, you are tasked with completing your job, and moving on.

But minds dont cooperate that way.

-remember me? i was that man back in '04 who you found in the hallway; that man that you might have saved if a call had come faster; if you had gotten here faster; if the fire was out faster; you took my body and put it in a plastic bag, and placed me in the yard; you waited with my family; you tried to console them; but there is no consoling somone elses loss; there is only grief; and you get the terror of my moments for your time alive; call it what you will; why?; Why do i come back to you?; .....so you never ever forget...

Then it is gone, gone because you better not dwell, you better suck it the fuck up and go on to the next -

We had a pediatric cardiac arrest, and on the 911 line, you hear the emotion, without hearing it.

So you practically force the alarm to the appropriate company, force them faster, force them to save, force it by your will to happen for the good...

But little faces come back as strong as older ones -

--thought i'd let you go Mr. Fireman? nope. you gotta remember, cause i wont, i am gone, no hands will hold my tears, no sun for my cheeks, no surf to roll in. someone took their eye off me, and i slid into the blue of the pool. sure you came, but you came too late, too late for my mommy, my daddy, and my brothers and sisters, its not your fault, its not anyones fault, but i am still gone, but you wont forget that look of blank blueness you tried to remove from me pulling me from that deep; your efforts, everyones efforts were for the best, but it didnt work this time, but you wont forget what i looked like, will you? no cause its burned into your soul, isnt it?.....

You want to reach through the darkness and make it all better; make it all pono, or righteous, you want the tears to be caught.

Sometimes you just want so badly.

I am thirsty.

Aloha.