Kinda means 'fool' or foolish. Slang. As in : "Hey! You stay making like one babooze!"
So you kinda know where this is gonna go.
Yep.
I had OT at Firecom, and regular 24 hour shift, plus the pinkishness hell that is jobbo #2. So after 36 hours at Firecom, and pink flamingos on my brain, my highness wants a new bed.
Huh?
Why? And a well placed "What the fuck?" Got yours truly in that steamy bath that is hot water.
No biggee, but when push comes to shove, I get laid....out. Some point in time, I will garner a backbone. For now, its just WTF?
Progressing backwards, it has become my forte to be the taker of the calls to Firecom from the....less sane members of society. Why on earth they get me, who knows? Call it instant karma, or oatmeal, whatevers, I get the winners. Like the latest one -
Good afternoon, Firecom, Firefighter M*******, how may I help you?
- Well, I have a situation here, and it is not a emergency, but I have a question.
(I should have known right away, since she was already calling on the non-emergency number, that I was in deep shit.)
Yes Mam, what is your question?
- I am allergic and sensitive to everything, and I dont use the soap you use, I make my own sunscreen, and I have this tennant, and there is a flourescent light bulb that I found broken behind a couch, that has a powder out of it, and I need to know what that powder is, and is it Hazmat? and who will clean it up? It is radioactive, you know.
(dear god, why me?)
Um, Mam, the bulb is broken? The powder is not dangerous, but if you are sensitive to everything....( i get interrupted)
- I didnt say I was sensitive to everything, what is that powder?
Mam, off the top of my head, I am not sure. But I know that it isnt dangerous, but if you are as sensitive as you say you are, I would have someone else clean it up, and...(interrupted again)
- So you dont know what it is? I think I need to speak to Hazmat. It is radioactive stuff in there. It is 25 years old, that bulb.
(I mean What The Fuck? You date the damn thing?! - then I put 2 + 2 together, and realize she wants someone to clean the crap up for her, and doesnt want to hire someone to do it, if she is truly sooooooo sensitive)
If indeed you are so sensitive to chemicals, I would hire someone to clean it and...(again, interrupted)
- Look, lets get back to reality...
(Now I am irritated. So I interrupt her.)
Yes, Mam, how bout we do that? Lets return to reality.
- You dont know what that powder is? And it is radioactive. I want to speak to Hazmat.
Mam, there is nothing in that bulb that is radioactive, There is nothing in it to cause you harm. I wouldnt go snorting the powder, or licking the floor where it is. But in your case, I would hire someone to clean the situation up, and be done with it. Also Mam, the department does not clean up Hazardous Material incidents, we just mitigate them. A outside agency cleans up any and all Hazmat alarms.
( I now know she isnt paying one moments attention to me)
- I cant get someone to clean it up. Its radioactive powder. I want to speak to Hazmat. Connect me.
We dont connect you to them, but I will give you the number to the Captain.....It is 5**-****.
- Wait! I ...paper..is blowing. Dont....wait. (various noises of scrambling and paper shuffling)....Ok. 5 ....?
Is it windy?
- Yes, and I dont want the radioactive powder blowing around, that is why it needs to be cleaned up!
Did you think of - closing the window!!!???
- No. What is that number?
5**-****.
- And thats Hazmat?
Yes.
- They will clean it up?
Nope.
- Why not?
(ARAAAAARARARAGGGGGGGH)
Because, Mam, it is not hazardous, and we dont do clean up.
- It is radioactive, you know.
Mam, is there anything else?
- I am allergic to radioactive stuff.
Yes, Mam.
- Make my own soap, you know. and my own sunscreen.
(are you drinking that shit????)
Yes....Mam.
- So who is coming?
NO ONE. We dont do clean up of broken light bulbs that are not dangerous.
- It is radioactive.
...............................Click....................Bzzzzzz.
When I get back on Thursday, I imagine the Hazmat Captain she talked to will want to know....WTF!
You all be good.
I am trying.
Radioactive; I am, ya know.
Aloha!
4 comments:
Sounds to me more like the lights are on, but nobody's home :-)
and that was me, Z. Why does beta blogger DO this to me? Is it radioactive?
Sometimes we might have more peace if we did glow a bit, huh?
:o)
alan
Sounds like they put YOU on the phone because you have the patience of a Saint, a great sense of humor and you’re easy going by nature, and they’ll probably leave you with the crazy phone calls until you start visibly ticking.
You know? The eyes twitch first, then the lips, sometimes it’s a grimace, sometimes not, throw in a turkey neck and dude, you might find yourself off those phones in a hurry, but probably not.
You’re just a really nice guy, and we appreciate that about you.
Enjoy that new bed, heh.
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