23.7.05

Lawyers / CabDrivers - evolution hasnt gone far - has it?

Ah beer. the great equalizer. Making you think you are Arnold, Peter North, and Jehovah all at once.

Why I hate lawyers.

My 6 best classmates from college are all lawyers. Good guys. Salt o' da earth like that. Help you at the drop of a hat.

But I dealt with Barry. Barry D. Barry D. Edwards. Barry D. Edwards, esquiremyass.

Bit of anger, no?

Long story - short. Barry is a lawyer. Well, Barry thinks he is a lawyer. He even has a license. I got one too, but mine just says i can drive. It seems his enables him to fuck with people for the hell of it. The meat and potatoes of the tale is Barry has a son, and he went to school with my son, problem child #1, not hoodlum, not angel, stuck in purgatory of real world challenge. Anyhow, K ( my son) and his friends partied up with Barry's kid and friends. Herb and beers, whatever, stories true line is yet to be known. It seems that Barry's kid, and some young wahine (woman) were suppose to get together. ( da da da daa dum) but, alas, Barry' kid was cock-blocked by a friend of my sons. Barry's kid didnt get laid. (hey, tough shit)

I guess Barry's kid wasnt too happy, and let the revelers of the night know that. So as it turns out. many hands gathered to ruin Barry's kids evening, along with Barry's X wifes car, which Barry's kid was driving.

Yeah, I know, cut to the chase.

So this Hawaiian finds out about this scene one sunny day. Barry actually calls me up, and says ( in the most influential "i am a big man" voice) Uh, Mr. M, Your son, K, seems to have ruined my wifes car, and assaulted my son, Keegan.

Ok, my day is fucked, let me know more Mr O- so- important- sounding-on- the- phone.

I figure the best way to handle this is like men, we talk it out figure out what the fuck happened, and make amends. In old Hawaii, this was called hooponopono, or, "sit and talk it out like sane people."

But Barry is older school than that. He is like missonary old school. Fuckers came to do good, and did very well, thankyouverymuchyoudumbhawaiians.

So Barry the lawyer, sues HM the fire/surfer ignorant fuck.

HM goes nuts.

Spent a year learning law shit. Seriously. Read everything I could. Nolo Press. saved my ass. Taught me that a lawyer, (sorry all you legals) is nothing. At first, I was intimidated with the task, then, fucking eh, it was a CHALLENGE.

The best is knowing that Barry thought, "ignorant firefighter/hawaiian"...

Oh yeah.

Bring it on, Mr E$q.

Well he did. And I learned the hard way, that fighting a battle when the rules are written by the opponent, is tough.

But Barry did not get my piece of paradise, matter of fact, all said, I lost only my sanity for a year, time, and about $200 bucks. He wanted $5000. Fucker.

The two bills was filing fees and shit I had to do.

Another thing I learned, was lawyers get paid wether they win or lose.

But Barry did not get shit from me.

When the judge read his spiel, and closed it all down, the most satisfying part was him saying TO Barry - " I think if you prepared as well as Mr. M did in his defense, things would have gone differently.

Moral victory was better than no victory at all, I guess.

Still cant stand that fucker, 'tho.

Aloha.

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