The Elevator / Captain 'Melonhead" / Ricky The Crackhead

The Elevator Call-

We often get calls for people stuck or trapped in elevators. Hotels, mostly, or condo's. We got this one on a friday night, about midnight.

We get to the building, and security takes us to the 25th floor. Standing outside the elevator are 2 people outside of the lift, and the door open about 1/2 inch. A japanese man, and his sister. In the elevator is a younger man, probably 20's. He has claustrophobia. Wonderful. And the japanese guy is his gay lover. Even more wonderful. We are there to help, but if he aint dying, we arent breaking a elevator. The elevator trapped guy, he is doing fine, staying calm, and listening to what we are saying. But lover-boy, he is, well, anxious. Putting it mildly. His sister is trying to keep him calm in a dialect of mixed japanese, pidgin, and english. Our crew consisted of Gpac, me, 'meloveyoulongtimeeyes', and captain melonhead. Gpac is about 6 feet. Gpac is about 250. Gpac got some cannons for arms. Anyway, lover-boy decides we are not moving fast enough, for his desires (pun intended) After he verbalizes this 'meloveyoulongtimeeyes' takes him on the side and explains our procedures. He seems to understand.

For a while.

Lover-boy is calm for minute or two, and then starts ranting, I mean RANTING at the top of his lungs that trapped lover-boy is going to die. Now professionalism is a word, but doing it under certain circumstances requires patience only Mother Teresa has.

Patience, I got. Well, sometimes. Gpac,he hasnt. Meloveyoulongtimeeyes, he got tons.

Captain melonhead, we will get to him, later.

So lover-boy goes after a broomstick, tries to pry open the door more, and has to be restrained. Gpac does that well. Me & meloveyoulongtimeeyes laugh. Amazingly, right then the door opens.

Lovers reunite, everybody happy, lovers start kissing, everybody snickers.

Except Captain melonhead.

He says " He really like that guy, doesnt he?"

Captain melonhead lives in small, very small, box.

Ricky the crack head -

Ricky is a regular, a frequent flier. Calls for Ricky come in alot. Ricky passes out almost anywhere. One time, tho' Ricky passed out and didnt get up. So we go. And EMS goes. And Ricky gets looked at, poked and prodded, but Ricky wont get up, sternum rub, nothing.

Out like a light.

Put EMS carries a wonderful drug that when injected, takes Ricky and his ilk outta lala land and back to sober. Fast.

They dont like that, Ricky, that is.

So EMS injects Ricky.

Ricky sobers up, angered, at losing his high, he hits Gpac. Gpac practically removes Ricky from the gurney, and almost throws Ricky out of a very, very high place.

2 days later, Ricky comes by the station to apologize. And brings....

A crack pipe.

Lit.

And Ricky, as is known to do, passes out, right in the station.

God, I love this job.

Aloha.