15.9.06

The PSA test / Physical

Some units of this my be inappropriate for delicate senses.

'K den?





So I have to go get my PSA / Physical the other day right before work. One of the wonderous things about being male, is your prostate turns to like, stone sometime after puberty, and before around 60 or so.

Since dear Dadhawaiianmark had his bout with postate cancer, and recovered sans prostate, Momhawaiianmark demands in her special way, that I get a baseline done for me.

That I did, 3 years ago. Not being the most intelligent human gracing this rock in space, I figgered that a span of say "X" years is when you should get re-checked. Momhawaiianmark sez "no" you should do it every other year, more if changes are noticed.

OK.

So I missed a other year, somewheres or another.

So after delicate pushings from Momhawaiianmark, I made my appointment.

Mom's delicate pushings are something akin to - " You make that appointment young man, or ...I 'll snicklefritz you " - Thats Momhawaiianmark's way of swearing, words that make absolutely no sense, except to her.

It's all good, God bless her, and her spaz ways anywho.

Appointment made, and time set.

My primary Doctor is Dr. White.

Doctor White is reall good. Real caring, real thourough.

Dr. White is also, really, really female.

You see it coming, dontcha?

Of course, you got your talk story to begin with, and your "how is everything going...etc" And we are here for your physical, lalalalalalala....

And drop your shorts, and cough.

And if you could bend over, and you might feel some pressure.....

MOOOOOOOOOOOOON RIVER........

There is a definte interlude of uncomfortable silence right after, kinda like I wanna say something along the lines of "HOW 'Bout them BEARS.....EH?"...

No get me wrong, she is great, she is caring, but there is a pause there, that for what ever reason is like -------hmmmmmmm I just had her finger in butt--------Whats up with that???

So I wait for the results, all good I am sure since my prostate on further examination was "supple and not firm"....(hey doc, everything seems to come out allright!)...but now, who knows!

Just more fun in my allready really really fun life.

See ya.

Aloha.

7 comments:

Jennifer said...

They say a fair number of women who have a lump discovered on one of the "girls" has it discovered by her husband.

Wonder how many women out there discover their husband's enlarged prostate during foreplay?

About the only way MY husband would ever agree to have his prostate examined would be if the good lord had had the sense to put it someplace handier, like say in his wallet, or in his golf bag.

Good for you!

Little Kenny said...

Oh man you had me laughin! No, no not at you, with you.

Really, with you.

I swear. ;)

When I started my current job back in 2000 one of the requirements was a full physical. Full. I was 29 at the time. I was totally unprepared for what happened that day. It wasn't fun. It was over quick. My doctor was a dude. Not sure how comfortable I'd have been if I'd been in your situation.

Little Kenny said...

No pun intended.

the Book of Keira said...

You should have insisted she buy you dinner first.

Sandy said...

ROFL, I don't envy you.

Angeline Rose Larimer said...

Used to think I wouldn't be able to handle a male gyno, but while pregnant with Jack, I was put into a rotation of several doctors. I dreaded having the first appointment with a male. Because, ya know, I suppose it's always possible I'd run into him at the bar some day..."Oh, you're the gal with the unusual woo ha!" scratching sound of record.

Maybe it's different when you're pregnant because you're, you know, no longer a sexual being, but I gotta say, the male doctor who told me I was already four centimeters along near the end could have set up a tripod that day and sold all the shots he wanted to the internet. The lady doctors always told me I was gaining too much weight (fat lazy horrible person<--what I heard) but the male doctors always seemed to know exactly what I needed to hear.
"Everything looks good."
Really?

That said, I'm still going to go to a female gyno when not pregnant. Still have the unusually shaped woo ha paranoia. It never goes away.

Rain said...

oh man , I hate that stuff. gotta go for all of my tests again soon.
I won't even let a man cut my hair, but to the doctor it is an everyday thing.