Had to buy Lady C some cosmetics at the store today. Nothing like asking for “Estee Lauder ‘beautiful’ the sheer scent, please” to perk up a salesladies ears. “No mam, that isn’t for me, and do you have Magna Span – (something or other, as I already forgot what the hell it was called) Mascara?
As her eyes grew wider.
Also, do have “Lash Primer plus?”
Not for me, fo’ real.
She was real nice about my whole cross-gendered stupidity about what the hell goes gobbing on her majesty’s bod.
Never one to make shame on buying feminine hygiene products, it was another one of my finest moments being able to assert my manhood by comfortably making sure that all items were invisible through the package.
Yep, that’s me, pure stud muffin; bravely walking into the tampon aisle, and latching on to the super plus, and boldly striding to the check out.
‘knowing that the check out lady will give me the – “you not going get lucky tonight, eh, bruddah?” look. Why, no I guess you are right. I was lucky enough to have no more late night jaunts to the store for such items for about a year, the span between Lady C’s hysterectomy and Mai-Mai’s start of womanhood. I never minded, nor will I ever. It makes for good tales.
Maybe I will get a third job, in sales.
Nah.
Smile, live, say something out of the ordinary to someone who needs something out of the ordinary said to them.
Aloha.
Kaleo James says – ‘burp-le’
4 comments:
Thank you for the smiles the pictures bring!
I've actually called home from Wal-Mart to say that "there's only one box left and the lady in front of me has her hand on them". She looked at me horrified and left them, too!
:o)
alan
Smile, live, say something out of the ordinary to someone who needs something out of the ordinary said to them.
I like it.
ROFL, whatta good guy you are.
Tell Kaleo James I said burple back
You know why I never ask my man to buy tampons? Cause I don't wanna get sent out to buy condoms.
It's true.
I can't buy condoms. I'd stroke out if I had to touch a box of Trojans in public.
Can you say "up-tight?"
I once had a father-daughter pair approach me in the feminine hygiene aisle of my grocery store. It was her first time. Dad was clueless. I say, "Um, no sir. She probably doesn't need the mattress sized pads yet. Um, no sir. Not the store-brand -- the adhesive on those sucks. Here -- StayFree's on sale this week. Good luck."
He just strutted to the check-out looking all proud for doing the right thing, while I had to run over to frozen foods until I stopped blushing.
Maybe I need Paxil.
Nah...
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