The Laundromat

Lady C is off on Sundays and Mondays. When I dont have Firecom on Sundays, we try to sleep in. That means after 7AM, if we are lucky/lock the Bedroom door. So no Firecom this AM, but the stifling pink now.

Anywhose, somewhere around 6ish, my bladder decided it was in need of emptying. So empty; it got. I could hear young girl voices in the parlor/TV/computer area, which is just outside our door. The Damn Dog Sadie wanted to go out as well, so awake we are. Open the door, and heres Mai & K on the computer, doin' what girls do. So I tell Mai to get a cracking on the room and laundry duties, before I go and harvest some breakfast chow.

So I get the attitude shot back in glares and eye-rollings, and at this point in time, it is the last (fucking) thing I need, especially before coffee. More attitude and grumblings later, I enter her room/pig sty to find not 1, not 4, not 12, but 27 dirty towels.

that's TWENTY SEVEN.

In a week.

Its gonna be a long morning. Soooooooooo, I gather up all the towels (crap) and figure it is gonna take me all day to wash, dry and that stuff to finish.

Screw that.

So I am off to the Laundromat.

Great.

Not only do I have 95,000 pounds of towels to wash, I gotta drive the bastards there. Of course, the closest one is all the way into town, about 10 miles, and of course as well, it is full.

So on to the next one.

Another couple miles, and it isn't full.

So I load up the washer, and thats 1. But all the other washers are in use. So I go to the Super-Duper-Jumbo-monstrous 35 pounder version of a washer on steroids, and pack the other 20 towels into it. (with room to spare)

And its washa-washa-washa time.

Of course the jumbo washer leaks, and I gotta put a bucket under the door to catch it, but the attendant says that that is normal.

OK. So you wait. And the clientele is as varied as the colors of the rainbow. A Micronesian family, a Samoan family, a older well dressed Japanese gent, a Korean golfer dude, some assortment of kids, 2 flaming gay guys, and 3 psychologically challenged older ladies, wearing Mardi-Gras beads, carrying all the supplies and clothes in 3 shopping carts.

And the RN.

I guess since I had a Riverside Fire Dept. shirt on, she decided to ask if I was a paramedic, and a Fireman. OK, yes I am. So for the next 15 minutes, I got to find out (because after I answered, I never got a chance to say another word) how she -

1. Is a RN
2. Works out of her car.
3. Travels weekly between Oahu and the mainland, nursing.
4. The mainland pay is better.
5. The working conditions here are 3rd world.
6. The weather is muggy.
7. Rain.
8. That vet nurses make more than regular nurses.
9. That change you find in patients beds is considered property of the Hospital.
10. And thats why she does her laundry only with dollar bills.

OK.

Being that the machines only take coins, I kinda had my doubts on that last one, but who am I to doubt it?

So after this brilliant encounter, I excused myself to load my 54 billion pounds of towels into the dryers.

Ever try to dry 75 gazillion pounds of towels a 25 cents for 7 minutes?

It costs like 9 or 10 bucks, and thats if you watch the damn thing, and load the driest ones into the hottest dryer.

Being that it was a Laundromat, I kinda figured the dryers might be hot, but Nooooooooooooooope. Only may 1 dryer outta 4 was really that hot.

Of course I had to wonder why.

And you know me, wonder is bad for me. Wondering gets me into mischief.

Today, wonder got me into the inner sanctum of the darkside of the Laundromat world.

It is called Lint.

Nobody cleans the lint.

So the motherfricking dryer all run, and run, and run, never drying shit.

So I disassembled my 3 non-heating dryers front doors, and cleaned the lint.

Which of course, everyone else saw, which I then had to do for all the other 20 some odd dryers that folks were using.

Guess what?

Laundromats dont like you cleaning the money making lint off the screens.

Just call me the Laundromat Robin-Hood, I guess.

And yeah, I gotta be the only person on the Island, and prolly the damn earth that is 86'd from a goddamn Laundromat.

Aloha.