When time and responsibility collide, it sure seems that I come out short sheeted. Yesterdays 24 @ Firecom wasnt all that bad. If you consider people calling and asking if Flames go with Fire, or listening to someones mate explain how their partner in time is hanging over the tub and turning blue, being not that bad, then I guess it wasnt harsh.
I apologize for lack of postage, but pups been ragged on work, and work has been well, Imposing its effects on moi. Not minding the slings and arrows (hey, thanks, eh, stolen quotes.com!) of a growing teenage dotter, minding the fact of arsehole kid being arsehole minoradult, hey frick it, lifes good.
Rats ass, I refuse to succumb to the pressures that abound. Really. The thing is, when you look at the pressures any of us face, it is really manini. (small)
i do not have a child of challenge.
i have a home.
i have a love that is boundless.
i have surf.
i have all my facilities, i am not totally (F***ed) up.
i can appreciate diffrences in this world.
I am lucky enough to perceive life, and with a load of humor, appreciate diffrences.
But I sense a incomplete man, because he cannot communicate with a child he loves.
And what that does, is infect all the good I can do, all I can be, all I can accomplish, because that fact, no matter how hard it is to try to ignore, it rakes me.
And as I have a respect for family, a respect for the the whole being that a family is, it hurts. it hurts that i can talk someone out of death, but I can not bring my kin to see life, life that is as beautiful as everyday is at its start, how everyday brings possibility, how it brings the glory of God, the glory of dawn the glory of each day.
I can say alotta shit.
But it seems i cant find the words to ...
inspire.
Gimme shelter.
Gimme words.
Gimme something i havent said, something I havent tried.
that will make a difference.
making difference.
Thats what i am aiming for.
Aloha.
5 comments:
2 boys, grown and gone; just like me at 17, Dad knew nothing, how could he, he's just Dad! Now they are 27 and 28 this year, and I've gotten a bit smarter, just like my Dad did.
I wish I had words to offer you; I remember that feeling so well! Now I have 3 grandkids by the younger boy, 7, 5 and 3 this year, and I can already see them doing the same thing to him. Whoever they're around the most they listen to the least...
Good luck!
alan
"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." I'm pretty sure this is because good parents never give up. The question is, what do we do with ourselves while we're waiting for them to be ready? If you figure it out, let me know. 19 is going better than 17 went, but I'm impatient for the day he's 35.
You do inspire, but maybe not the person you were aiming to :)
What they said...
And yah, when he's ready, he will listen, or do what he knows is right. They know what is right.
Sometimes I have to force myself just to listen. Even if what I am hearing irritates me. In my case, many times he is just blowing, rattling, being young and rebellious, frustrated, and confused.
It sucks watching some of them find their way. It hurts.
You express yourself so well, and your attitude is right on. Acknowlege your feelings, balance it all out as best you can, and know your heart is in the right place. I may be a simpleton but I belive goodness and purity of intent will prevail. Thank you for sharing.
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