The next foray into the land of sin produced a adventure of wanton sex, alcohol consumption, and dice mayhem. Got your attention with the wanton sex, eh?
Lady C, Aunty R, and me the heathen, were to trip over the big puddle to lala land. This was for 1 of Lady C 's & Aunty R's co-workers wedding. Off we goes. Flight is un-eventfull, even tho' this is the first time Lady C and I are flying anywhere together.
Oh, did I mention that Lady C is scared shitless of flying? It takes me 3 days to prepare her to fly inter-island. That is a 30 minute flight. See, the woman I love can ride a Harley, go fishing for Mahi-Mahi on a boat on her own, drop a volkswagon engine (seriously), go nuts on a jet-ski, but is scared of the flying part. I think it is because she really wants to fly the damn thing. The pre-trip is a mix of positive reinforcement, good hugs, and well, for me...Beer. Aunty R is the next best thing for her since Valium, as she is the voice of calm. Rock solid. We get on board, and I, knowing the drill w/ C, knows the first thing the flower of mind will do is ...seriously hassle the flight crew, albeit in a very nice way. Constant questions, all from the Captain - "is he good, do you know if he flies alot?" To - "is the flight rough today? hows the weather? Do you fly alot?"... You get the picture, yeah? Nervous energy abounds. All in a good way, but if I was an attendant, I would lose it, even if she is sooo damn nice about it.
The crew on our flight, were, absolute dreams. They were the BEST.
They babied her, checked in on her, watched over her, and in general, amde my exsistence being there, useless. Cool. More beer for me.
Lady C amps out so much that by 1/3 of the flight, she is in a coma. Outto-finouto. Dreamer. So me and Mr. Heineken get acquainted, and catch a movie. And 5 hours later, Las Vegas! We get to the Cal, and we are out to the Fremont Street, beers in hand. Lady C has never been there, so me, being the well experienced traveller, and Vegas pro, rehashes the previous trip w/ her Mom, and AV.
Lady C immediately goes to the slots.
Arrgggh.
And Mr. Heineken and I, start our journey into mischief. Aunty R joins Lady C on a Wheel Of Fortune machine, and plunk in the coinage. It is off to the craps tables for Mr. H and I. Now, the last trip, I noticed that the crew at the craps tables were having the most fun of anyone in the casino. All the yelling, hi-fives, and cheers were a draw for sure. But I had no idea of WTF was the deal. So before I attacked the coffers of LV this time, I decide to read up on the game, and ask the world renown expert on Vegas - read:Lady C's Uncle Billy - about the game. Uncle Billy knows Vegas, and goes quite a bit, he is also a retired Firefighter. This, of course, means I must study with him, meaning....Beer! Uncle B gives me the skinny on the game, and I figure the point of the game is....Win! Actually, the point of the game is not to throw the dreaded "7" , and make your 'point'. Statistically, you will throw more sevens, and the House (the ever evil Casino)has the advantage. But - If you can throw the dice, with some 'deftness' you can take one seven outta the equation. Now, I know you math majors out there are poo-poo ing it, but I relagate the following tale -
There are 'X' numbers of ways to make the "7". That's what odds are calculated upon. A 'random' roller - one who grabs the dice, and heaves them down the table, should throw a seven 'X' number of times. Certain sects of craps players beleve that if you 'control' or 'set' the dice, you have less chances of making the dreaded '7' appear. I happen to think that this is true. The reason is, when I first tried craps, I threw it hog wild down the table. All the time I was there, a small, older gent was setting the dice, and throwing with much care, and softly. His rolls went on for a longer period of time, hence, making him, and those bettors with him, more $. So being the arse hole that I am, I had to see what I could learn. The internet is a great resource. There are a gazillion ways, theories and beliefs on the subject, so just like my own religious beliefs, I pick and choose what I like, and mold my own guide.
Cutting to the chase - I started throwing the 'bones' in a set, lightly, and with as much control over them as I could. This resulted in much better outcomes for meself. Debate can rage over what is truly occuring, but , eh, I figure it works for me, and until it doesnt, I am HAVING FUN.
We will get back to the dice/craps portion of this novel soon enough.
So the crew of 3 land in LV, get our rooms, and see the sights. Beverages abound, and at the start of day 2, I get the rent-a-car, and requsite coffee first thing in the AM. This was the mornng of the Lady C bra & panties in the hallway episode I related in a earlier post. The only plans were to see the sights of the strip, and relax, before the next days wedding. Shopping, gambling, sightseeing. Enjoyable, and since I walk at a pace of 10X faster than Lady C & Aunty R, I see everything, well, twice. Something I need to learn - walk slower. Walking idiocyncrisies aside, we have a fun-filled, casino hopping day. Food and beverages consumed, the day turns to night, and the ladies want to go down the strip to see the lights/sights. Since I have been having a good run-o-luck at the craps pit, I digress to the 2 young hens to adventure on their own. They grab the car, and head southbound on the Strip.
Viva Las Vegas, and why they dont put clocks in Casino's.
The night wears on, and I get a cold streak, so I exit to wander the area. Many sights and dives later, (as well as....Mr Heineken's) I find it late, and I buzzed. Call the gals on the cell, no answer. I figure they are busy, or unreachable in a casino. Midnight, 1AM, 2AM, 3AM, still no connect. Worried? A little. But figure no need to. So I figure, shower, and call agian, probably will hook up after. Washed and dried, I try to call again. 4AM. No luck. Hummm? I made the mistake of lying down, BOOM! Out like a light. I wake at 645, to no Lady C in bed! Arggggh. Call the cell.
Lady C - "Hi! (excitedly) Whats up? We are at the Ceasars Palace...And..."
Me- " Do you have any idea what time it is?...are you OK?"
Lady C - "No, why? Is it late?"
Me- "Try look at your watch"
Lady C- "Oh its like 345, I didnt realize..."
Me - " Uh, Cathy, Its 645, not 345, your watch is on Hawaii time, babooze"
Lady C - " Oh shit, it is?!"
Main thing they are safe, but I had to laugh on these 2 Vegas Virgins wheeling and dealing in the Neon space that this place is. More funny, they are winning!
So the start of day 3 gets off to a equally bizarre/strange way as does everyday in my life.
Getting married by Elvis, and waiting in line for pre-nuptuials with drunks-
The wedding party on day 3 was planning to join at The Little Wedding Chapel, and join in matrimony by the "king" I guess if I was on LSD, it would seem normal, but straight, it was/is still a scene of strangeness unequalled in my life. Then combine that with a line to wed, with half the waiting parties 3 sheets to the wind, well you can imagine, the scenarios are equal parts strange/funny/hallucinogenic. The deed done, we proceed to the 'party bus' for a tour of LV, and adult beverages, I take a ton of blurry pix, all of which, look like shit. Just call me 'Mr. Japanese-Tourist-Photographer-Man'
Nothing spectacular occurs, besides Lady C flashing me at the sign for 'Glitter Gulch - topless girls sign' ( a blurry pix of that memory exsists ) And we head home 4 days 3 nights later, exhausted and ready for return to the real world.
Trip to the Strip # 3, now there is a tale of wonder -
Just call it- "The sign says I am headed to California, Maaaaarrrrkkkkkk....."
Dear God, she really drives me nuts.....
Aloha!
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