After having worked in a state hospital in Iowa, I can attest -
They do come out at night on a full moon.
I am one of 'em.
So here I is, slaving away in my cell at the Hotel Hell -
Ring.
Ring, Ring.
Aloha, In Room Dining, this is Mark.
Aussie/Brit accent - Uh yes, I d like a burger Medium, and another burger medium as well, and 2 glasses of beaujolais.
HM - Fine, Mam. Thats 2 burgers Medium, and 2 glasses of Beaujolais.
Accented 1 - Yes, Thank You.
HM - That should be about 20 minutes.
(insert time frame of 20 minutes, add 10 and divide by whatevers)
Ring.
Ring. Ring.
(same hotel spiel)
Accented 1 - Yes we have a trolley to be picked up, and would you make a note? The food was terrible. The burgers were burnt, and this is NOT beaujolais. I asked for them Medium RARE. Not charred. Note that, will you?
HM- (sure, being that YOU ORDERED IT MEDIUM) - I am terribly sorry, Mam. We will take due notice of your complaint, and speak with the wine steward on the wine.
Accented 1 - Just take this trolley away.
HM - Right away , Mam.
......
Ring.
Ring, Ring.
(caller ID, dontcha know)
RIIIIIINGGGGGG RINNNNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNNGGGGG
(how long can I make them wait?)
RINNNNGGGGG.
Aloha, This is...
Accented 1 interrupts - Yes, my wife called, and the meal was terrible.
HM - Yes sir, she realted the complaint to me, and...
Accented 1 interrupts again - Yes, it was awful, the burgers were urnt no cheese, and the wine was not beaujolais...
HM interrupting myself - Yes sir, I am terribly sorry, the waiter, and the wine steward have ben notified. As well as...
Accented 1 buts in - Terrible no cheese, no ... the fries were some potato thingy, not fries.
HM - (Huh? Fries that arent fries? Hmmm?) Sir we will amend that fry problem I assure you.
Accented 1 - Yes, and....
(The waiter comes in now, and signals that THEY ATE EVERYTHING ON THE ORDER)
HM - (buts in again) - Yes sir. Other than that, how was everything else?
Accented 1 (laughing) - well it was all BAD, so other than that, nothing was good!
HM - (ramp up the sarcasm, baby!) Terribly sorry sir. But you DID consume all of the meal? Just wanted to make sure, that the waiter didnt bring back the wrong table, you know.
Accented 1 (back peddle, back peddle, back peddle) - Well, well , well...we were flying all day, and were hungry, and...
HM - ( flying in the CARGO section are we now? ) Sir we will remove the bill from your charges, and again, my apologies.
Accented 1 - yes, flying all day and we were hungry, and that would be fine....
HM - *click*
You can complain all you want, you can bitch about a 13 dollar burger, order it once, order it right.
Just dont bullshit a bullshitter.
How many more years of this?
Eternity, baby, eternity.
See ya!
Aloha.
*urp*
8 comments:
Compared to what passes for burgers in Oz, I'm sure Hotel Hell serves a damn fine burger. But I got a question.
Who the hell goes to Hawaii to eat a burger, at any time of day?
Everybody knows that when you travel, you ought to order according to your geographical location. That means that in Montana, you order beef, in Iowa you order pork, in Arkansas you order chicken, in Maine you order lobster, and in Hawaii you order the catch of the day. Duh!
Rule number two: no matter your destination, when you arrive, you do not take your jet-lag or your own poor judgment out on the service staff. Yet I see this ALL the time!
Bless you, HM. You deserve an extra surf for dealing with cranky, pampered fools.
I'd give anything to be in Hawaii right now. I'd eat burnt rhino tongue atop a steaming pile of poo. <--well, maybe not, but I'd probably just order "anything with alcohol in it..." and be PERFECTLY content.
I don't know what beaujolais is, but I'm guessing someone who orders it, and then is that incredibly conniving and rude really needs some real problems.
What's the Hawaiian equivalent of Karma?
I waited tables for years. YEARS, I tell you.
I KNOW those two, I’ve seen them in many shapes and sizes. Just once I wanted to say, “Listen freak, you want a free meal, right? If you hadn’t been such a freak about it, I might even have bought ya one. But hey, you’re not really hungry, no. You just decided that it would be cool to get a free meal.” B-holes.
Sorry, I’m better now.
But I never said anything like that to any of my customers. No. I exercised amazing self control.
And now, I find myself in a school house….and I am still exercising self control, well, most days.
YOU are handling yourself well. It’s not easy, it tends to suck the energy from you, I know.
lol, you funny. Anything for a discount huh?
speaking of discounts, just wondering if you get any kind of discounts for "friends" at any affiliated hotels?
Me and the kids gotta come Oahu for Kapi'olani appt on Tuesday, wanted to make a trip out of it, maybe waterpark on Monday? I can trade you airline passes if you can : )
email me if can
Honu4@juno.com
Thanks for the quick reply!
Mostly Monday night (12/19). If can, Tuesday might be good too, but for sure we'd like Monday. Baby got appt on Maui on Wednesday, so not that important for Tuesday night.
tanks for checking ah? lol
shoots, I'll be up! (studying for my Pharm final tomorrow...ugh)
Have fun at work.
darn it, are all hotels filled up? Maybe I need to be actively searching before they are all gone! Last time we ended up Turtle Bay because there was NOTHING anywhere else!
Mahalo for your kokua. lol
You da bomb
AAAAAHHHHHH! People like this drive me NUTS! When I worked in the hotel people would stay for a week and then complain that their room was SO horrible and SO dirty and this and that and freakin WAAAAA! Yet they never said anything, they never complained, never asked for another room.
Until they had to pay the bill.
Jerks.
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