And now, the rest of the story...or phone hell as the case may be...

HM- "fire- what is your emergency?"

Eintstein - "Um...its not an emergency, but I was watching the news, and the news, 1 said the fire was on Lumikuke PLACE and the other news said Lumikuke LOOP, and my goddaughter lives on that street, and...."

HM - "The fire was on Lumikuke Place, mam, and you need to call..."

E- (interuppting) - "Oh she lives on the Loop, so it wasnt her house that burned down, was it?"

HM - (now seeing the sea slug, and realizing its regrettable caondition, laughs and moves the hell on - Thanks again Cozy Shack!) - "Mam, this is a 911 E M E R G E N C Y line? As in EMERGENCY? The fire was not on the loop, we had no reports of injuries from the fire, and did you happen to think of calling your goddaughter?" (of course not, that would take COMMON SENSE!)

E- "Oh, I see you only call 911 in emergencies?"

HM - (1,2,3,4 ...10) "Yes mam, ONLY IN EMERGENCIES"

E- "well, you would think the news would tell us that!"

HM - "Uh, yes mam, they should, now I have to free this line now..."

Thank god we have a recording device, and I get to play these back for entertainment purposes for the whole crew.

Then there is the hotel fun -

HM- "In-room dining, this is Mark"

Tourist from hell- "Yes. The hotel sent us some honeymoon chapagne, and we dont drink alcohol, so what else can we get?"

HM- "We have a sparkling cider that we can replace it with.."

TFH- "Oh no. That WONT do. I would like to have a complete dinner instead..My wife will have...

HM- (interrupting) "I dont think we can replace a bottle of COMPLIMENTARY champagne (value= jackshit) with a full complete meal, sir" (you everloving cheapskate)

TFH- "But I want a complete meal for 2!"

HM- (yeah I want a 12" Di*k too, but THAT aint gonna happen) "Sir, ley me see what we can do...." (puts TFH on hold)...(and HOLD somemore)

HM- (off the phone, thinking...what the hell, give the whole enchilada away!)

HM-"sir, we can do a dinner for 2, JUST FOR YOU..."

TFH- "Fine, I will call you back...."

Of course, he doesnt call back until the damn kitchen is closed, and all he can get now is a sandwich.

He didnt like that.

Tough shit!

I am taking my ass home and having a beer.

Aloha!

Sheeeeeeeeesh! Eye caramba!

!